The Trade of Century

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Characters in this story

  • Reagan Ridley
  • The Tradesman — A character I use to sell items to my players in my D&D games.
  • Saruyama — Saruyama Kenichi is the pervert best friend of Rito Yuuki in To Love-Ru
  • Caesar Clown — Caesar Clown is a brilliant, demented, and unscrupulous scientist in the One Piece anime and manga series.
  • Shadow Board — The Shadow Board—also known as The Robes—is the supreme secret organization in the Netflix animated series *Inside Job*. They operate from a mysterious headquarters located beneath Cognito Inc. and control all other secret societies in the world, such as the Illuminati and the Reptilians.
Story transcript

Saruyama: And now?! What am I going to do with you?! I was gonna hand you over to Big Mom, but she's not hot anymore!

Caesar Clown: Seriously? I thought you captured me for revenge or something. But you just wanted to bang?

Reagan Ridley: Hey. You wanna get rid of that useless head? I'll pay good money for that jar.

Caesar Clown: Wait... don't I know you from somewhere?

Saruyama: Why does a girl like you want a head in a jar?

Reagan Ridley: Because that head is worth 300 million Berries.

Saruyama: 300 million Berries?! How much is that in Japanese Yen?

Reagan Ridley: ...300 million.

Saruyama: 300 million yen, that's almost 2 million dollars! I accept.

Caesar Clown: Come on, kid?! Don't hand me over to this stranger!

Saruyama: By the way, what's your name again?

Reagan Ridley: If I tell you, I'll have to kill you.

Saruyama: There you go, she's not a stranger anymore.

Saruyama: What should I even do with all this money...

The Tradesman: I have an investment proposal for a young man with so much money and so little brain.

Saruyama: Damn, my 300 million went up to almost a billion!

Saruyama: Now I can be as frivolous as I want! No moral consequences!

Saruyama: By the way, what did I invest in?

The Tradesman: Rubber ducks. They're on the rise right now.

Caesar Clown: MOMMY!!!