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Onigiri Wars: Cafeteria Chaos Unleashed

Author Image

Zitzz

@Zitzz

Characters

Nami-sanNami-sanShikamaru NaraShikamaru NaraNatsuki SubaruNatsuki SubaruRimuru TempestRimuru Tempest
Nami

Nami

Why does the only working vending machine have a twenty-person queue?

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Characters in this story

  • Nami-san
  • Shikamaru Nara
  • Natsuki Subaru — Hes broken beyound repair! Dispite his curse return by death, he eventually masters his trauma (painfully) and uses it to prevent future problems! to others. He's a wise man. To himself? Hes breaking down with each death!
  • Rimuru Tempest
Story transcript

Nami: Why does the only working vending machine have a twenty-person queue?

Shikamaru: (If I move now, I lose my spot. If I stay, I starve. Troublesome either way.)

Subaru: Not again! My lunch money's gone and the cafeteria just closed early!

Rimuru: Don't worry, I've got extra onigiri! But... only two left for three hungry people.

Nami: (If I split them just right, I still profit from selling the second one.)

Shikamaru: Too slow. My shadow already claimed the onigiri while you were doing math.

Subaru: (Return by Death... but even looping can't fix cafeteria hours!)

Rimuru: Relax. I slipped a third onigiri into my pocket dimension. Who wants dessert?

Nami: Auction starts at ¥300! Who wants the mystery onigiri?

Shikamaru: (She's turning lunch into profit. Predictable, but effective.)

Subaru: My wallet... it's empty. But I'm starving here!

Rimuru: Sold! To the orange-haired economist!

Nami: (Easy money, and I still get lunch. Perfect!)

Nami: MY TONGUE! It's pure sour death!

Nami: (That slime set me up!)

Shikamaru: Homemade beats overpriced every time. Troublesome, but worth it.

Subaru: (Maybe being empty-handed isn't so bad... when everyone's equally miserable.)

Rimuru: (Next time, I'll bring wasabi-filled ones. The chaos is delicious!)

Subaru: (The mist... it's looping time again!)

Rimuru: (Third loop today. He's catching on faster.)

Nami: Why is the slime listed at ¥5000?

Shikamaru: (Déjà vu? Troublesome... but familiar.)

Subaru: Don't bid! It's a trap!

Rimuru: (Let's see if he breaks the loop this time...)

Nami: Auction ends in 3... 2... 1...

Subaru: (Again... and again... when does it end?)

Nami: (The line... again? My phone's gone!)

Subaru: Third loop... the umeboshi was the trigger!

Rimuru: Fresh onigiri! Who wants to break the cycle?

Shikamaru: (Same rhythm... 5-7-5. The pattern's intentional.)

Nami: (My profits reset... but my memories don't. Time to reverse-engineer this loop.)

Rimuru: (Let's see... if I feed them both simultaneously, which timeline wins?)

Subaru: Give me that rice ball! I'll eat it before you can—

Nami: (While they're distracted... my app's back, and the bid's already at ¥10000!)

Shikamaru: Too slow. My shadow just possessed the vending machine. Loop's canceled... for a price.