Spamton the stranger?

Mari Gwydion

That man keeps waving at me... and his van says FREE CANDY in dripping paint...

Spamton

WHOA, HEY, [[Little Archery Hero]]! Want some [HEART-SHAPED LOLLIPOPS]—100% [[Kid-Tested, Mother-Approved]]!

Mari Gwydion

No thank you, sir. Duncan says never take candy from strangers... or enter their vans.

Spamton

I'm NOT [A CREEP]—I just wanna SHARE before the [[Strings]] pull me back to the DUMPSTER! Please, take the [WHOLESOME TREATS] and RUN so I know I'm still... real.

Mari Gwydion

I... I'm sorry for judging. You looked scary, but you're just lonely.

Spamton

First customer in MONTHS who sees ME, not the [MALWARE MASK]. Here—EVERY FLAVOR on the [HOUSE]!

Mari Gwydion

Blegh—this tastes like... old socks soaked in lemonade!

Spamton

WHOOPS, must've mixed the [PRANK PACK] in! Still counts as a SALE, right? Now you're [[Contractually Obligated]] to visit my VAN for the TASTY ONES—NO REFUNDS, KIDDO!