Characters
Create your own story with WhatIf!
Create your own story with WhatIf!
Bruno Shell: One... Happy Meal... NO TOY?
Echidna: The child specified dietary restrictions. The toy contains processed materials.
Bruno Shell: PROCESSED? I'LL SHOW THEM PROCESSED!
Kaorinha: Bruno-senpai~ The customer wants to speak with the manager about their 'gainz-deficient' fries~
Bruno Shell: Manager? But I ate the manager... I mean, he's not here!
Echidna: Fascinating. You consumed your superior? How... nourishing.
Kaorinha: I'm totally posting this! 'Local gym bro discovers toy cars aren't protein supplements'~
Bruno Shell: DELETE THAT! My followers can't know I work here! They think I'm sponsored by... by... MUSCLE JESUS!
Echidna: Is not honest labor more virtuous than fabricated status?
Kaorinha: Attention McDonald's customers! We have a SPECIAL PERFORMANCE tonight~
Bruno Shell: NO WAIT I CAN EXPLAIN—
Kaorinha: ♪ Bruno-senpai's secret shame~ Working minimum wage for fryer flame~ ♪
Echidna: ♪ His gains are real but his wallet's lean~ A tragic tale of protein dreams~ ♪
Customer: Yo Bruno! Thought you owned that supplement chain?
Bruno Shell: HAHA YES FRIEND, I AM... DOING MARKET RESEARCH! For my... UPCOMING FITNESS EMPIRE!
Kaorinha: Your empire of floor mopping?
Echidna: The most delicious gains are those seasoned with humility.
Bruno Shell: Seventy-three... laughing faces... THEY THINK THIS IS FUNNY?
Kaorinha: Look at the bright side! You're finally trending~
Echidna: Social validation is such a curious addiction.
Bruno Shell: I WAS A GOD AMONG MEN! Now I'm... I'm...
Kaorinha: A minimum wage warrior battling the evil fryer monster?
Bruno Shell: I have 2.3 million followers who think I own supplement companies!
Echidna: Lies are such fragile armor against truth.
Kaorinha: You know what would really show them? A dance video. Right here, right now~
Bruno Shell: Dance? My legs are... I haven't done cardio since... Bruce...
Echidna: The mortals call it 'going viral.' Such peculiar terminology.
Kaorinha: Come on! Show the world your... uh... graceful side!
Bruno Shell: I CAN'T! My legs are... they're not proportional to my... MY BRAND!
Kaorinha: Fine. Then I'll post the video of you crying over burnt nuggets.
Bruno Shell: I WASN'T CRYING! THAT WAS... PROTEIN SWEAT!
Kaorinha: Now spin! Like a beautiful protein shake mixer!
Bruno Shell: I hate... every... second... of this...
Echidna: Even gods must learn to dance among mortals.
Kaorinha: Wait... I forgot to hit record.
Bruno Shell: ...I'm going to bench press your soul.
