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Whatever They Said

Author Image

Trouble_Verse

@4Boys

Characters

Earthworm JimEarthworm JimBrakBrakSpace GhostSpace GhostZorakZorakMoltarMoltarPrincess What's-Her-NamePrincess What's-Her-Name
Space Ghost

Space Ghost

Nice to meet you, mister... whatever hero you used to be.

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Characters in this story

  • Earthworm Jim — Earthworm Jim is the protagonist of an iconic 2D action-platformer game franchise that was a huge hit in the 90s. He is, literally, a mutant earthworm inside a muscular spacesuit who ended up becoming a superhero.
  • Brak — A former space villain turned lovable alien idiot, Brak is a sweet-natured, musical, lisping space cat whose innocent stupidity somehow survives even the most hostile absurdity.
  • Space Ghost — A pompous, oblivious intergalactic superhero turned terrible talk show host, Space Ghost is equal parts cosmic power and petty ego.
  • Zorak — A bitter, sarcastic evil mantis forced into servitude as Space Ghost's bandleader, Zorak seethes behind his keyboard with pure contempt for everyone and everything.
  • Moltar — The lava man running the control booth on Space Ghost Coast to Coast.
  • Princess What's-Her-Name — The rebellious insect princess and Jim's oblivious love interest, she'd rather lead a revolution than be rescued.
Story transcript

Space Ghost: Nice to meet you, mister... whatever hero you used to be.

Earthworm Jim: Nice to meet you, fellow justice warrior! You'd be... Batman without the ears?!

Space Ghost: Well, we're two heroes forgotten by time. What can I expect?

Zorak: When you said we were getting back into villainy, I didn't think we'd start with the princess-on-the-tracks cliché.

Brak: Oh, but it gets better! Instead of ransom, we torture this bug princess with a bug zapper racket!

Brak: Until she confesses where she's hiding her honey pot!

Princess What's-Her-Name: Oh, no! I won't break free in time!

Moltar: Whatever villain line.

Earthworm Jim: Eat dust, space train!

Zorak: Wow. Now Moltar is truly dead.

Brak: Who is he?

Zorak: I don't know. But judging by that hideous mutant face, he certainly can't be a hero.

Brak: Maybe he could join us.

Brak: Who are you? Are you also interested in the princess' honey?

Earthworm Jim: The princess' honey?

Zorak: Forget this honey nonsense... You know what? Give me that gun.

Earthworm Jim: Using your own partner as a hostage, what a vile act!

Zorak: Listen up, pal. I'm walking out of here alive or Brak gets laser lead. Got it?

Space Ghost: I don't think so, evildoer.

Zorak: Let me guess, the real hero is right behind me, right?

Brak: Yeah, I think Moltar really is dead. Since he's not here.

Zorak: A minimum-security prison? Do they want us to escape just to get locked up again?

Zorak: Damn! We're going to have to go back to that shitty gig to pay the bills.

Space Ghost: I already said there's no need to thank me, princess... for what...

Princess What's-Her-Name: Princess What's-Her-Name from the Kingdom Wherever-It-Is, handsome.

Space Ghost: This is more generic than my first TV series.

Earthworm Jim: I blow up a train, and he's the one who gets her soft-spoken attention?