Traditional Tides: Roast of the Century
Create your own story with WhatIf!
Create your own story with WhatIf!
Rudeus
Welcome to Traditional Tides, the podcast that floats society back to sanity! I'd like to bring on my first guest former Eva pilot turned Comic: Asuka
Asuka
Thanks for having me, Rudeus. Let's get into where society let this madness called Equality get off the rails.
Asuka
Back in my day we were soldiers. Now we coddle people with safe spaces and mental health days. How pathetic. PC culture has run muck.
Nobara
Oh look, the pervert prince and the expired bratwurst are holding a TED Talk—mind if I add facts?
Rudeus
Listeners, we have… a surprise guest?
Asuka
Great, the failed hammer warrior has come to lecture us.
Asuka
Lost an eye and still can't see the point—what are you, a bootleg pirate? You gonna go hunting for a W after Mahito beat your ass?
Nobara
Listen you bitter bitch. At least I'm not a raggedy ann looking brat mad at the world I got scamming my employer and crossing the border illegally.
Rudeus
Nobara, your feet still stinks and you're interrupting my show. Fuck off!!!
Nobara
Guess what? I got your perverted ass blacklisted. You're banned from getting to the nearest public park. Looks like you got to move out boy.
Rudeus
Damn it ALL!!!! Looks like the woke mob got my show taken off the air. See you soon everyone!!!
Asuka
Don't worry Rudeus. I'll get the gofundme going. At this rate you'll probably get a job at Fox or Newsmax at this rate.