Thunder Bathhouse Proposal Panic!
Characters
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Story transcript
Zenitsu: Poison-san! Please marry me! I'll be the best husband ever!
Poison: Ara ara~ Such passion. Very well, little thunder bunny.
Poison: (This one's mine now. Let's see how long he lasts.)
Mitsuri: (Oh my! This is perfect! Wedding planning, love coaching, merchandise opportunities...!)
Mitsuri: Operation: Thunder Wedding starts tomorrow! Zenitsu-kun won't know what hit him!
Zenitsu: (Wait, is this really happening? What did I just get myself into?!) Mitsuri, why are you so excited about this?
Mitsuri: Welcome to Love Counseling Session #1! Today we'll explore the depths of your hearts!
Poison: Let's see if this thunder boy can handle the real me. (I mean we've smashed a lot already.)
Zenitsu: (She's so beautiful and strong... but what if she finds out I'm just a scaredy-cat?)
Mitsuri: Zenitsu-kun, what if I told you Poison used to be... a man?
Poison: Your point? I'm a beautiful woman and Zenitsu already knows he crumbles under me. Isn't that right thunder bunny?
Zenitsu: I can't lie. Sometimes it hurts to sit for a while, but Poison lets me rest on her lap...
Mitsuri: (Wow Zenitsu has such... endurance...)
Poison: Remember why we even met?
Zenitsu: Don't remind me. Our first time still gives me nightmares.
Mitsuri: What do you mean? How exactly did you two meet?
Poison: Tanjiro hired me to seduce you away from Nezuko. Simple job, right? That night I got carried away.
Zenitsu: I remember. Nezuko-Chan...
Poison: But you were so adorable when I cornered you. That first night, you couldn't even look me in the eyes.
Zenitsu: S-stop! Don't tell her about the... the collar! I WAS BREACHED!!!
Mitsuri: (A-a collar?! Zenitsu-kun... and Poison-san... breaching...)
Poison: Now you can't sleep without my scent. That's what you call addiction, thunder bunny.
Zenitsu: I don't care how it started! I love Poison-san and I'm marrying her!
Mitsuri: (This is... this is premium wedding material! Forbidden love, seduction, redemption...)
Mitsuri: I'll plan everything! The venue, flowers, catering - this will be the most dramatic wedding ever!
Mitsuri: Dearly beloved, we're gathered for the most dramatic union of the century!
Zenitsu: (I can't believe this is happening... Poison looks so beautiful but I'm so nervous...)
Poison: Thunder bunny looks like he's about to faint. How adorable.
Zenitsu: I-I promise to love you even when you're scary, Poison-san!
Poison: (No more waiting. This one's mine now.)
Mitsuri: W-wait! We haven't gotten to the vows yet!
Poison: The honeymoon starts now, husband. No more delays.
Zenitsu: (Everyone's watching! Poison-san, not in front of the guests!)
Mitsuri: Perfect! The exclusive wedding photos will sell for millions! Wait till Nezuko hears about this!