Thigh-Deity vs. CEO at Charity Auction

Norman the God of Gooning

Such... perfect thighs... even in stone, the divine curves...

Hillary Taylor

Excuse me, are you planning to bid or just salivate on the merchandise?

Norman the God of Gooning

I-I wasn't drooling! I was... uh... practicing my moisture-based appraisal technique!

Hillary Taylor

Right. And I'm practicing my 'make the weird guy disappear' technique. Starting bid is fifty thousand.

Norman the God of Gooning

Fifty thousand? I could conjure you a thousand such statues with a thought!

Hillary Taylor

Then conjure yourself some dignity first.

Norman the God of Gooning

Okay, maybe my powers are a bit... selective. But I could still be your plus-one?

Hillary Taylor

I'd rather bid on the actual statue. At least marble doesn't talk about thighs.