Vox: why?! of all the stupid things we think of… would you think of THIS!!!!?
Valentino: oh what are you on about now, Vox? I think it’s quite obvious that we’re holding this mocoso…
Vox: speak. fucking. English. Val. I don’t have time to deal with your Latino bullcrap.
Valentino: we’re keeping this BRAT hostage that the PRINCESS was apparently babysitting for some pendejo. and fuck you, I told you already that I’m from Florida!
Vox: why did I pick today to get back on my feet? I should’ve waited until tomorrow.
Velvette: what’s the big deal, Vox? he’s just some stupid kid. In fact, I think he’s re… I really shouldn’t say that word anymore, don’t want to get cancelled.
Vox: no you shouldn’t, and neither should you be doing this to begin with!
Valentino: Ok, I think you’re the estupido one here, Vox. why are you scared of some nińo?
Vox: That niño is the LAST person you should ever mess with, Val. trust me, you do NOT want to mess with Soul Reapers, especially not the boy’s father!
Valentino: oh? And who is the Mo- the brats father?
Vox: are you telling me you didn’t focus on the daily gossip going around in Hell? I may be out, but my broadcast lines are still online that even I know.
Vox: look at him, does his spiky orange hair and black robes ring any bells?
Velvette: …oh shit! He’s Kurosaki’s kid
Valentino: Who?
Velvette: Ichigo Kurosaki, the new Hell Reaper recruited in Hell. his trial was broadcasted live for all to see. how could you not know that?!
Vox: oh I can take a wild guess why…
Valentino: so what if he’s some Hell Reaper’s brat?
Vox: so what? So WHAT?! you idiot!!!
Valentino: Gah!!!
Vox: think with your head instead of your dick for fucking once! Ichigo isn’t just a Hell Reaper, he’s a monster!
Vox: he defeated the renegade Soul Reaper Aizen, Broke the Gates of Hell, accidently slain the Soul King and defeated the mad Quincy Emperor Yhwach.
Vox: all of heaven and Hell are afraid of him, and for good fucking reason!
Vox: and now, ha ha ha, you have his fucking kid hostage, ha ha ha ha!!!!!
Valentino: Has he gone loco?
Velvette: no, we’re the ones who is loco when we took Kurosaki’s kid and held him hostage.
Vox: Heeyy kiddo, I hope those two f- those silly demons didn’t hurt you.
Kazui Kurosaki: No, I’m fine Mr. Whitterman.
Vox: G-glad to hear it.
Valentino: wait, how does he know your human name?
Vox: he’s a soul Reaper, he always knows. he can see it.
Valentino: See it? see what?
Velvette: …oh fuck! you don’t mean he has those eyes that can see our death information?
Vox: yes… the Shinigami eyes.
Valentino: what the hell are Shinigami eyes?!
Vox: how else do you think the Soul Reapers know when it is our time to die? they can see our lifespans tick down like timers until it reaches zero.
Vox: they know who we are, when we’ll die and how we died.
Valentino: …are you telling me that this mocoso knows who we are and knows about our deaths?
Kazui Kurosaki: yep, and I have to say that you died rather… mmm what’s that fancy word… meaning not proper, rather silly.
Vox: undignified?
Kazui Kurosaki: yeah… undignified. Take Mr. Whitterman for example.
Kazui Kurosaki: you died from a fallen television and then electrocuted in a flooded abandoned aquarium. taking a large group of followers with you. ha ha ha
Kazui Kurosaki: rather silly since you now have a telly for a head.
Vox: Y-Yes, my death was silly, ha ha ha
Kazui Kurosaki: But at least it wasn’t gross like mr Valentino though. Died from Syphillis… sorry what what is that?
Vox: it’s an illness caused when someone… uh how can I explain this to a child…
Velvette: fucker didn’t use protection
Vox: Velvette!!!
Velvette: what? we’re in hell, too late to be morally decent around children. and besides, I bet he knows since we know how perverted the Japanese are.
Vox: sounded rich coming from me but isn’t that a bit racist!?
Kazui Kurosaki: Oh so Mr Valentino died a pervert… gross.
Valentino: oh fuck you, hijo de puta!!!!
Vox: The kid’s got a point, Val. you think I enjoy listen to you talk about various kinks all the time. some were completely disgusting.
Valentino: Oh screw you and screw that Mijo de Puta.
Kazui Kurosaki: Hey! my mum isn’t a bitch… which I shouldn’t say for your mum! She never loved you and left you on the streets to die if it weren’t for the nuns.
Valentino: that’s it! the mosoco is dead!!!!
Vox: Val, put the damn guns down now!!!
Valentino: no way, he did not insult my mami like that!!!!
Vox: oh come on, we all know that your mother was a clap-ridden whore who abandoned you when you were 5. Hell, you killed the bitch back in ‘65.
Valentino: but she was still me mami 😭and no one insults her, you here!!!
Velvette: fuckin’ nutcase.
Kazui Kurosaki: I think you were the crazy one, Ms Velvette.
Velvette: and what’s that suppose to mean!!
Kazui Kurosaki: You died in 2010 from a surgical complication, all because you think you’re ugly?
Velvette: a kid like you wouldn’t understand.
Kazui Kurosaki: …no suppose I don’t, but why would you care what a bunch of meanies on the internet say.
Velvette: he knows about my old stream?!
Vox: Shinigami eyes, Vel. He knows everything about us. know everything about EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING!!!
Velvette: what? even the…
Vox: what do you bloody think?!
Kazui Kurosaki: Which is why my mum doesn’t want me using the internet so much. full of meanies, trolls i think there called. being mean because it’s fun.
Kazui Kurosaki: you were being mean also and yet you get upset about other meanies calling you ugly. so you got upset about it and decided to have surgery
Kazui Kurosaki: which killed you all because you believed in a bunch of trolls. now that is silly.
Velvette: …screw this, Val give me the gun!!! I’m gonna kill this brat myself!!
Vox: Vel, stop! put the gun down!!!
Vox: …oh shit.
Blood Chains Ichigo: Where is my son?
Vox: Mr Kurosaki, princess Morningstar, what a relief you’ve come. these idiots we’re foolish to take your son without knowing the consequences.
Vox: but I assure you, your son is safe and unharmed.
Blood Chains Ichigo: Kazui, is what Vox speak true.
Kazui Kurosaki: yes, Daddy. he was scared when he learned it was me they took, he also knows you would do something scary if I was hurt.
Vox: you have a smart kid there, Mr Kurosaki. and again, I am sorry for the inconvenience that my partners did to make you come all this way.
Blood Chains Ichigo: …let’s go, Kazui.
Kazui Kurosaki: ok, daddy
Blood Chains Ichigo: you’re lucky that no harm has come to my son. but this will be your final warning.
Charlie Morningstar (Demon): and I won’t hold back now that I don’t have to try hard to be peaceful now that my Hotel is a success.
Kazui Kurosaki: bye, and thanks for the snacks.
Valentino: …yeah, I think that was a bad idea taking that kid.
Vox: Oh you think? you clap riddled moth!
Velvette: is it me or does the princess look hot when she’s mad.
Vox: urgh, I’m out of here. you two are completely nuts.
