Morty Smith: Rick, before you drag me through another death maze, I need to say this: you're a gigantic jerk.
Rick Sanchez: Aw, Morty, if this is about the screaming, it was mostly environmental. Burp.
Morty Smith: You turned an entire planet into Cronenbergs, abandoned them, and moved into a dimension where the replacements were already dead!
Rick Sanchez: I didn't abandon them, Morty. I relocated to a reality with better post-apocalyptic infrastructure. That's called urban planning.
Morty Smith: You built a universe full of people just to use them as a battery for your car!
Rick Sanchez: I gave them electricity, purpose, and a stable economy. You give people homework and call it education. Who's exploiting whom?
Morty Smith: You sold a weapon to a professional assassin so you could play arcade games, then joined a planet-wide purge!
Rick Sanchez: The assassin had a customer rating, Morty. And the purge was legal. Learn the difference between immoral and illegal before you start vibrating.
Morty Smith: You made Abradolf Lincler, ignored him, and let him get torn apart. Then you sabotaged Beth's marriage just so she'd need you more!
Rick Sanchez: Lincler was a leadership prototype. Beth's marriage was a controlled study. Science requires variables, little buddy.
Morty Smith: Your save-point remote killed a different Morty every time I wanted a do-over! You made me carry a graveyard of myself!
Rick Sanchez: A graveyard? No, a distributed data set. You were the one who kept pressing the button. Accountability is adorable when you finally discover it.
Morty Smith: You don't defend anything! You just rename cruelty as science and call everyone else stupid!
Rick Sanchez: Morality is firmware written by scared hairless apes. My IQ doesn't make your rules universal, Morty. It makes them optional.
Morty Smith: You just confessed to all of it.
Rick Sanchez: No, I translated it into a framework.
Morty Smith: Rick, the framework is called being a jerk. You made my point.
Vegeta: See, Cabba? You said our relationship wasn't healthy, but it could be worse...
Cabba: Master, you're becoming more and more like Rick.
