The [HITMAN] offer
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Create your own story with WhatIf!
Spamton
HEY-HEY, BALD PREMIUM [MODEL]! WANNA UPGRADE YOUR [PRO-FESSION] WITH A [LIMITED-TIME] CONTRACT?!
Agent 47
I don't take solicitations from trash sitting on trash.
Spamton
EXCUSE ME? THIS ISN'T TRASH, THIS IS [TOP-TIER] OPPORTUNITY! TARGET: CORPORATE [BIGSHOT] WHO SKIMMED MY [KROMER]! YOU WHACK, WE SPLIT THE [INSURANCE PAYOUT] 50-50!
Agent 47
Fifty percent of zero is still zero.
Spamton
FINE! 60-40! PLUS—[BONUS]—I THROW IN THIS [PREMIUM] CONTRACT—COMPLETELY [LEGITIMATE]!
Agent 47
Printed on toilet paper that looks like a letter. Classy.
Agent 47
These is my birth digits. Where did you steal it?
Spamton
...[ERROR: NOT FOUND]?
Agent 47
New deal: you forget my number, or I add yours to the back of your neck.
Spamton
DEAL CERTIFIED… NO [STRINGS] ATTACHED—GAHAHA… PLEASE DONT [REFUND] MY SOUL.