The [HITMAN] offer
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Story transcript
Spamton: HEY-HEY, BALD PREMIUM [MODEL]! WANNA UPGRADE YOUR [PRO-FESSION] WITH A [LIMITED-TIME] CONTRACT?!
Agent 47: I don't take solicitations from trash sitting on trash.
Spamton: EXCUSE ME? THIS ISN'T TRASH, THIS IS [TOP-TIER] OPPORTUNITY! TARGET: CORPORATE [BIGSHOT] WHO SKIMMED MY [KROMER]! YOU WHACK, WE SPLIT THE [INSURANCE PAYOUT] 50-50!
Agent 47: Fifty percent of zero is still zero.
Spamton: FINE! 60-40! PLUS—[BONUS]—I THROW IN THIS [PREMIUM] CONTRACT—COMPLETELY [LEGITIMATE]!
Agent 47: Printed on toilet paper that looks like a letter. Classy.
Agent 47: These is my birth digits. Where did you steal it?
Spamton: ...[ERROR: NOT FOUND]?
Agent 47: New deal: you forget my number, or I add yours to the back of your neck.
Spamton: DEAL CERTIFIED… NO [STRINGS] ATTACHED—GAHAHA… PLEASE DONT [REFUND] MY SOUL.