Star-Fox Wager on the Broken Moon

Azure Heart

Eight centuries, and you still greet me with fire, Kiara.

Kiara the fox

Old habits burn eternal, goddess. Ready to lose another bet?

Azure Heart

Last time you forfeit your ninth tail. Care to wager the remaining eight?

Kiara the fox

If I win, you walk barefoot through my volcano—no flight tricks!

Azure Heart

Deal. One spark from your flame to snuff my star—no more, no less.

Kiara the fox

You always did like impossible odds.

Azure Heart

Begin.

Kiara the fox

Oops. Guess your star's safe—and I still owe you eight tails.

Azure Heart

Accept payment in moon repairs, fox. Fetch a wrench.

Milim

Three's company, two's boring! Dragon wishes are the ultimate prize~

Azure Heart

Milim Nava... your presence shifts the cosmic balance.

Kiara the fox

Great, another immortal with boundary issues.

Milim

Oh, I'm just here to make things interesting. Loser has to... say something nice about humans!

Azure Heart

How delightfully cruel.

Kiara the fox

Fine. But when I win, you both have to attend my tea ceremony—wearing whatever I choose.

Azure Heart

Acceptable. Winner claims the dragon's favor.

Milim

Perfect! Three-way chaos begins... NOW!

Azure Heart

The lunar core... it's responding to our combined power.

Kiara the fox

That's not supposed to happen unless—

Milim

Unless we're about to accidentally wake something up!

Kiara the fox

Azure, tell me you didn't know about the moon prison.

Azure Heart

I knew. I simply assumed we'd be more... subtle.

Milim

Subtle? I don't think that's in any of our vocabularies!

Kazuma

Did someone order a completely useless human? Because I was just napping and—why is the moon cracking?

Milim

Aww, the wish just arrived early! And he's useless, so nobody wins!

Azure Heart

Of course. The universe's idea of a punchline.