Characters
Create your own story with WhatIf!
Create your own story with WhatIf!
Waterbreath: That's a Glock 19, a 9mm semi-automatic, pushed against your skull.
The Bus Driver: WHAT THE FUCK?!
Waterbreath: Pay attention. Don't want the last thing to see to be your brains splattering across the windshield?
Waterbreath: Then drive. Real fuckin' fast.
Waterbreath: DRIVE, ASSHOLE!
The Bus Driver: FUCK!
The Bus Driver: What was that noise?! What the fuck did you do?!
Waterbreath: Pop quiz, hotshot. There's a bomb on a bus. Once the bus goes 50 miles an hour, the bomb is armed. If it drops below 50... it blows up. What do you do?
The Bus Driver: Are you out of your MIND?! Why the fuck are you doing this to me?!
Waterbreath: Because you fucked with a woman's heart.
The Bus Driver: ...which one?
Waterbreath: Meta-Gurl.
The Bus Driver: ...who?
Waterbreath: Are you fucking with me?
The Bus Driver: Okay, I admit I was ego tripping when I discovered my abilities! But come on, man! We're guys! We all just wanna get laid, right?!
The Bus Driver: I wasn't trying to hurt anyone! I just wanted to take a load off! I'm a bus driver! I'm not the kinda guy who wants to settle down!
The Bus Driver: I don't wanna be shackled down! I wanna live my own life! What's wrong with that?!
Waterbreath: Nobody's forcing you to put a ring on anyone. There's nothing wrong with hooking up if you both agree to no commitments.
Waterbreath: But Meta-Gurl is a woman who longs for more. So why couldn't you just tell her you didn't wanna commit?
Waterbreath: I'll tell you why. Because you only thought about yourself and getting laid!
Waterbreath: It's because of inconsiderate assholes like you who fuck things up for guys like me!
Waterbreath: You take advantage of women's feelings, and then they put up walls. They shut out men who actually give a shit.
Waterbreath: Assholes like you are why falling in love is so goddamn hard!
The Bus Driver: ...I never really thought about it like that.
Waterbreath: Here's the deal. You're gonna apologize to her. Sincerely. No Rizzler bullshit. I'll be watching.
Waterbreath: And if I think for one second you're using that ability on her, I'm kicking the shit outta you.
Waterbreath: She heard everything, by the way. I was wearing a wire.
The Bus Driver: ...
