Santa's unwelcomed guest

Santa Claus

Just one more page and the nice list is sealed…

Santa Claus

*Reindeer Howling* ...Easy, lads! The night’s too cold for tantrums.

Kittysamma

Good evening, old Saint Nick. I have come to make sure you won't forget about the two best girls, Etsudo and Kintsugi. They've been good this year.

Santa Claus

I don’t barter with trespassers, feline. You’re centuries past the naughty column.

Kittysamma

Then every cookie, every figgy pudding, every bite you take… will carry one of my hairs for the next three hundred years.

Santa Claus

…You wouldn’t.

Kittysamma

Try me. I’ve got eternity to floss.

Santa Claus

Why trouble yourself over one human child and some ex-entity? You've got whole realities to toy with.

Kittysamma

Why trouble yourself stuffing chimneys when you could vacation forever?

Santa Claus

A child's smile is the brightest star in any sky. That joy keeps me young.

Kittysamma

Etsudo's laughter… sounds like creation did something right. Kintsugi's too. Keeps the boredom away.

Santa Claus

They're already on the Nice list. But you, cat—your rap sheet spans galaxies. Genocides, rewritten realities…

Kittysamma

And I'll do worse before breakfast. Yet tonight, you'll still place their gifts.

Santa Claus

One day, someone will put you on a list you can't claw off.

Kittysamma

Maybe. But until then. If you give them their gifts, then I will keep the cookies hair-free, Saint Nick.