Panic Potato's Live Mic Apocalypse

Tomoko

Oh no—my mic is ON?!

Tomoko

They can hear every pathetic wheeze—I'm the human bagpipe of despair!

Cyber Dragon 9000 Sharry

Congratulations, you've weaponized awkward breathing. Enemy team logged out from second-hand embarrassment.

Ruby the cyborg

Decibel spike at 42 kHz—recorded for future psychological warfare.

Tomoko

I-It’s a tactical hyperventilation strategy! Totally meta!

Tomoko

Why does my avatar still have sweat physics in a warzone?!

Cyber Dragon 9000 Sharry

New objective: escort the panic potato to extraction without audio casualties.

Tomoko

P-Potato?!

Ruby the cyborg

Uploading 'Tomoko Hyperventilation ASMR' to the lobby jukebox. Tips appreciated.

Tomoko

Noooo—my social HP is already zero!

Tomoko

At least my suffering will have a royalty stream...

Tomoko

I'm not the protagonist—I'm the tutorial NPC everyone skips...

Cyber Dragon 9000 Sharry

Distraction unit specs: 0.5 HP, ∞ shame. Could work.

Ruby the cyborg

Cringe counter at 97...98...99—

Tomoko

W-wait, there's a counter?!

Cyber Dragon 9000 Sharry

New strat: we weaponize the embarrassment storm. Everyone stack mics.

Tomoko

I'm not a weapon—I'm a walking OSHA violation...

Ruby the cyborg

Uploading 'WheezeDrop_8bit.exe'—syncing bass to her cardiac rhythm.

Tomoko

At least license my misery as lo-fi study beats...

Cyber Dragon 9000 Sharry

If we win, I'll autograph your shame. If we lose, you're the new lobby mascot.

Tomoko

Wait—did the cool cyber-dragon just offer me... a job?!