Nokia Commercial: Remade
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Story transcript
Rem: HI, REM HERE WITH THE INCREDIBLE NOKIA 3310!
Rem: The most indestructible cellular device ever created!
Ram: This revolutionary device features Snake II, a calculator, and the ability to survive Roswaal-sama's most destructive magic.
Ram: Unlike my sister's intelligence, this battery lasts for days.
Rem: Why are you so mean...
Rem: Watch as I drop it from this height! Any other phone would shatter!
Ram: Completely unharmed. Unlike the demon beasts Rem encounters, this phone cannot be destroyed.
Rem: BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE! Observe as I throw it out this second-story window!
Ram: Still functioning perfectly. Even Barusu couldn't break this if he tried.
Ram: I suppose that makes this phone more useful than him.
Rem: All this can be yours for just 3999 gold coins! Order now!
Rem: Perfect for contacting Subaru-kun during emergencies!
Ram: We don't have cellular networks in Lugunica, Rem.
Ram: We've been selling paperweights this entire time.