New Years Anti-Resolutions

Taiga

This year I WILL stop punching people!

Konata

You wrote that last year and decked the vending machine by February.

Taiga

It ate my money!

Tomoko

I vowed to talk to a guy without imagining twenty ways to die… lasted three hours.

Bocchi

I promised I'd play live without the box… I hyperventilated before the first chord.

Konata

Resolutions are just free DLC for life—fun until the bugs show up.

Taiga

Fine! NO resolutions this year—just anti-resolutions!

Tomoko

So… promising to be awful? I can't fail at that.

Bocchi

I—I resolve to hide even more… so if I go outside, it's a win?

Konata

Genius. I pledge to marathon anime till sunrise—business as usual.

Konata

To guaranteed success through strategic failure!

Taiga

May we break every promise we just made!

Tomoko

Finally, a plan I can't screw up.

Bocchi

Happy New Year… to the worst best year ever.