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Intergalactic Reputation Laundering 101

Author Image

Lord

@Biglordallday

Characters

Asuka Langley SoryuAsuka Langley SoryuNobara KugisakiNobara KugisakiMisato KatsuragiMisato KatsuragiFriezaFrieza
Freeza

Freeza

Congratulations, Frau Asuka. Your jokes about monkeys actually made laugh. Here's a bonus.

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Characters in this story

  • Asuka Langley Soryu
  • Nobara Kugisaki — She is a first-year student and Grade 3 Jujutsu Sorcerer at Tokyo Jujutsu High. She trains under Satoru Gojo alongside her classmates Yuji Itadori and Megumi Fushiguro. Unapologetically confident, brash, and fiercely committed to staying true to herself, Nobara defies traditional gender expectations
  • Misato Katsuragi
  • Frieza — "FLITHY MONKEYS!"
Story transcript

Freeza: Congratulations, Frau Asuka. Your jokes about monkeys actually made laugh. Here's a bonus.

Asuka: I appreciate the reward, Lord Frieza.

Misato: Asuka, I raised you to punch tyrants, not perform for them!

Nobara: And I came to remind you planet-blowers don't deserve punch-lines—just pain.

Freeza: Ah, look everyone a drunk predator and a busy body. How quaint...

Misato: You're lecturing us? You ran child soldiers and blew up planets.

Nobara: I will not be scared of a tyrant wearing lip loss.

Asuka: Hey, lighten up. At least the Empire pays on time—unlike NERV payroll.

Freeza: Misato, put the bottle down and stay away from Shinji. Nobara, get a life. Frieza force, escort these two out of here ASAP.

Freeza: Next tour, you headline 'Planets I'd Rather Not Explode.'

Asuka: I can't wait to cash in the bonus.