Gold Hijacks Christmas with Dino Mayhem

Whatif-chan

So the reindeer forms a friendship with the lonely office worker through their balcony meetings...

Santa Claus

And she realizes the true magic was the connections we forge, not the presents we receive?

Whatif-chan

Exactly! It's wholesome without being preachy!

Whatif-chan

Then in the final panel, they share mochi while watching the sunrise together—

Santa Claus

You know I usually work with cookies, but mochi sounds delightful.

Whatif-chan

It's multicultural representation! Very YouTube-friendly!

Gold (Unmasked)

BEHOLD, I HAVE ARRIVED

Whatif-chan

MY LIMITED EDITION HOLLY JOLLY PEN!

Santa Claus

HO-HO-HOLY- RED ON A NOSE!!

Gold (Unmasked)

This story needs MORE EXPLOSIONS! I'm thinking dinosaur-mounted elf battalion—

Whatif-chan

Give it back! That's my only pen that writes in candy cane ink!

Gold (Unmasked)

—and I'm dual-wielding these pens like guns, saving Christmas from... from... Joseph Stalin!

Santa Claus

You know, I've dealt with greedy children before, but this is new.

Gold (Unmasked)

Check out this panel where I ride a T-rex into battle against the Grinch!

Whatif-chan

The Grinch is copyrighted. Also, why is Stalin in the story!?

Santa Claus

Why use a T-Rex? Why not use a Reindeer?

Gold (Unmasked)

BECAUSE DINOSAURS ARE AWESOME!!!

Santa Claus

Gold, my boy, Christmas stories traditionally involve... joy.

Whatif-chan

You drew Santa as a cyborg warlord who feeds coal to naughty children through a minigun!

Gold (Unmasked)

It's called SUBVERSION. My YouTube analytics love subversion.

Whatif-chan

Christmas is about hope, redemption, and—

Gold (Unmasked)

—SEXY ELVES!! I gotta draw myself surrendered by elves wearing Christmas bikinis! Frieren in a sext christmas bikini will be PEAK!

Santa Claus

HO-HO-HOLD STILL, young man!

Gold (Unmasked)

I'm a genius! I MUST ADD IN SHORTSTACKS ELVES TO THE PLOT!

Whatif-chan

NOT MY ARCHIVAL INK PENS! THEY ARENT MEANT TO WRITE SUCH SMUT!

Santa Claus

That's... ENOUGH!

Santa Claus

You've been VERY naughty, Gold.

Gold (Unmasked)

Wait, since when could you teleport people?

Santa Claus

Since now! and I'll send you to Mexico so you can be with your family for the holidays but while also burning in the heat!

Whatif-chan

Is he gone? is my story safe?

Santa Claus

Yup, he's gone. Nothing says Christmas like family togetherness. Even if it's forced.

Whatif-chan

But won't he just make terrible Christmas content from Mexico?

Santa Claus

He can try. But abuela's tamales are notoriously distracting.

Whatif-chan

So... wholesome Christmas stories win?

Santa Claus

I would say it's wholesome that Gold is with family, even if he's suffering in the heat.