Glittered Love Letters & Regal Blushes

Ironie

Silveria, my dear brother, that's clearly... uh... evidence of a cosmic prank?

Silveria

This juvenile attempt at romantic coercion bears your fingerprints, Ironie. Literally. Glitter is a forensic nightmare.

Deadpool

Technically those are my fingerprints! Ironie licked the envelope. Safety first!

Silveria

Ironie licked glitter. No wonder his tongue looks like a disco ball.

Ironie

Wade, you were supposed to be subtle!

Silveria

Subtlety died when you hired a mercenary who breaks the fourth wall to play Cupid.

Golderia

Speaking of love stories... why don't we change the subject to BabyMetal's origin story? The full story, not the abridged one, Swettie.

Deadpool

The metal baby pregnancy! I've been dying to hear the details of this!

Ironie

Golderia, brother, let's not—

Silveria

Oh, but I agree with Golderia, the narrative demands completeness. Surely there's room for one more love story?

Ironie

Fine. But the audience won't be able to read it, since this is the last page, after all.

Deadpool

Oh, but Ironie. This is strip one of two. We got all of part two for you to explain, in gastronomic detail.

Deadpool

Three-thousand-year flashback, roll camera! This is gonna be mythic!

Silveria

Proceed, Ironie. From... the metallic snack that started it all.

Golderia

Spare no gastrointestinal detail, darling.

Ironie

Fine. I mistook painted brass for iron, ate it, stomach revolted. Happy?

Deadpool

That's the PG-13 trailer, we want the director's cut!

Ironie

I didn't want to waddle to the loo, so I toon-forced the pain into... a baby concept. Thought it'd just vanish.

Golderia

Classic 'what could go wrong'.

Ironie

Three weeks of pregnancy later, I yanked my stomach out, and the lump transformed into BabyMetal. End of story.

Silveria

A most... anticlimactic genesis.

Golderia

That's it? No explosive labor? No guitar-solo birth scene? Weak payoff, bro.

Deadpool

Like, comment, subscribe for petitions demanding a retcon! BabyMetal deserves an epic flash-birth!

Ironie

Next time I'll add dragons. Satisfied?

Silveria

I'll consider your shipping debt... partially repaid.