G.L.B - Is it Edible?

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Characters in this story

  • Chito
  • Yuuri
  • Sniper — (Stole from the wiki) Sniper seems to be the more trained and organised of the two protagonists and often will point out how illogical any suggested plans are, but nonetheless ends up going along with them. While more sane and practical than his counterpart, he still (like most of the soldiers in the city) has a pessimistic, sarcastic attitude, and will sometimes do reckless things out of boredom. Still, for the most part, he is fairly cautious and is definitely intelligent. He even shows some concern for the lives of other Reds, getting angry at Pyro when it looked like he was being careless with lives of his squad. While he seems more empathetic than Pyro he kills for the "challenge" and openly laughs at a crushed Blue soldier.
  • Pyro
Story transcript

Yuuri: Dinner! Look how fat it is—probably tastes like chicken!

Chito: Its tail has... extra joints. That's not natural.

Pyro: The more joints the better! Means more crispy bits when we burn it.

Sniper: Great. We're taking culinary advice from someone who thinks napalm is a seasoning.

Pyro: Come on! Fire kills everything—bacteria, viruses, existential dread!

Chito: According to my notes... mammals with more than four limbs are usually toxic.

Yuuri: But it's only got four legs! The extra two are... decorative?

Pyro: Everything's edible if you're brave enough.

Sniper: We are NOT cooking it alive. I have standards. Low ones, but they exist.

Yuuri: Your friend seems... responsible?

Chito: That's what makes him terrifying.

Chito: Actually... look. It's pretending to be dead. That's intelligent behavior.

Yuuri: Aww, you think it's smart enough to understand us?

Pyro: Smart enough to know we'd eat it. Smart enough to... communicate?

Chito: We could... keep it as an emergency food supply. Just not emergency.

Pyro: Look at his little face. He's got trust issues. Same as us.

Sniper: Congratulations. We've adopted a rat. This is how civilization ends—not with a bang, but with pet food.

The rat: squeaks once, then climbs onto Pyro's shoulder like it belongs there