Frostbite Roast Battle

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Characters in this story

  • dean Winchester — has a deep, gravelly, and ruggedly raspy voice
  • Karma Kramp — Krampus's sharp-eyed daughter, sweet enough to leave gifts and scary enough to take them back.
Story transcript

dean Winchester: Snowed in with a horned goth. Hell of a way to spend a Tuesday.

Karma Kramp: You say that like your personality wasn't already the worst thing in the room.

dean Winchester: Are the horns real, or did Hot Topic start charging rent?

Karma Kramp: Are the muscles real, or are you just shaped like a gas station ad?

dean Winchester: Mock the jacket all you want. At least I know how to order food.

Karma Kramp: You ordered pie before checking the exits. That's not survival, that's a medical condition.

dean Winchester: I hunt monsters.

Karma Kramp: You hunt monsters and still got trapped by weather. Congrats, tough guy.

dean Winchester: Says the girl dressed like Christmas got possessed.

Karma Kramp: Says the man wearing one jacket for every emotional crisis.

Karma Kramp: Go on. I can see the thought trying to escape.

dean Winchester: Shut up.

dean Winchester: I've fought demons, ghosts, and worse.

Karma Kramp: And one teenager with eyeliner has you sweating into your coffee. Damn.

dean Winchester: Okay. That's new.

Karma Kramp: You wanted scary. Don't whine when scary answers.

dean Winchester: The hell, Karma?

Karma Kramp: You started the cursing. I'm finishing the weather.

dean Winchester: Fine. You win. Best roast I've heard all week.

Karma Kramp: Did you just steal my pie?

dean Winchester: It was strategic.

Karma Kramp: You're a smug, pie-shaped jackass.

dean Winchester: Still worth it.

Karma Kramp: Good. Keep the plate. It matches your personality.