Rudeus: Welcome to the Jurian News Network's special debate on... the male loneliness crisis. Our guests have very different views on this sensitive topic.
Makima: I'll make this simple for our viewers. Some problems are best solved through creative reorganization of demographics.
Poison: Creative? You mean forcing vulnerable young men into your twisted social experiments!
Makima: Young men are giving up on life anyway. Why not give them a fresh start as women? I've already begun the transition process for several subjects.
Rudeus: That's... that's not how gender identity works!
Makima: Details. They'll adapt. Women are more socially resilient, after all.
Poison: You can't just turn people into women to solve society's failures! Transgender people aren't your band-aid solution!
Rudeus: Let's keep this civil—
Poison: The real issues are affordable housing, AI replacing jobs, and untreated trauma! These men need support, not surgical reassignment!
Makima: Speaking of which, moderator-san, had you lived in my world, I'd have made you lose weight and married you off to another otaku. Might have cured your... preferences.
Rudeus: Please don't remind me of my past life traumas on national television...
Poison: Oh wonderful, the Control Devil's matchmaking service. What's next, speed-dating with chainsaws?
Makima: My benefactors need funding for re-election campaigns. Proper social programs are expensive. Gender transitions are a one-time cost with lifetime benefits.
Poison: You're literally treating human beings like budget line items! Human beings are just numbers you damned, she devil!
Rudeus: Thirty seconds left... thank the gods...
Rudeus: And that's our debate. Next week: "Should we solve world hunger by turning everyone into photosynthetic plants?"
Makima: Oh, I've already submitted that proposal to three committees!
Poison: You disgust me! I'm going home to my thunder bunny, Zenitsu!
