Deadpool sace BabyMetal from Dobby's Stew, pt2

Dobby

Dobby is HUNGRY! You ruined Dobby's dinner!

Deadpool

Hey! This was my favorite suit! Do you know how hard it is to find a tailor who works with healing flesh?

Deadpool

Quick, kiddo - on a scale of one to ten, how weird is this Sunday for you?

BabyMetal

Eleven! Daddy never lets me play with guns!

BabyMetal

Mister Dobby, you need a timeout. And maybe some chicken nuggets.

Dobby

Chicken... nuggets? Dobby has never tried these nuggets...

Deadpool

Oh great, now you've done it. You've activated his tragic backstory appetite.

BabyMetal

I have a candy with me! But it's grape flavored! My auntie says sharing makes friends!

Deadpool

Plot twist: The real dinner was the friends we made along the way. Also, that candy's probably older than both of us combined.

Dobby

This... this is better than cat! Where does tiny human find such magic?

Deadpool

EXCUSE ME? I just got shot seventeen times and THIS is what impresses you?

BabyMetal

I have a whole stash! We can share them and play dress-up! My daddy has sparkly scarves!

Dobby

Wait... sparkly scarves? Dobby LOVES sparkly things! But Dobby is still technically trying to eat you both...

Deadpool

Kid's got a better success rate at making friends than I do at making enemies. This is why I don't do playdates.

BabyMetal

Don't be grumpy, Mister Pool! You can be the dragon we have to defeat!

BabyMetal

Chi-mi-cha-nga! Chi-mi-cha-nga! Their Friendship wrapped in spicy meat pockets!

Dobby

Dobby... Dobby is walking with friends? Dobby's ears aren't burning from lies this time...

Deadpool

So much for that Action tag... This went from me getting a cool mini-fight scene. To the little lady, making a new friend.

BabyMetal

Mister Dobby! We need to make you PRETTY for dinner! Friends dress up together!

Dobby

D-dress up? Dobby's pillowcase is perfectly adequate for house-elf dignity!

Deadpool

Oh great, we're playing dress-up with the elf who tried to eat us. This is fine.

BabyMetal

Hold still! Pretty bows make everything better - that's what Auntie says!

Dobby

Dobby... Dobby thinks he might like being pretty? Is this what happiness feels like?

Deadpool

Trauma bonding through fashion. I need to update my therapy notes.

Deadpool

Shh. You hear that? Sounds like daddy dearest coming to ruin our fun.

BabyMetal

Daddy always ruins everything. He won't let me have ANY fun!

Dobby

Daddy... coming? Dobby's tummy feels funny. Like butterflies made of meat.

BabyMetal

Mister Pool, you can't tell Daddy! He'll make me leave my new friend!

Deadpool

Oh, I won't tell him. But the big metal daddy-boi might have something to say about his princess playing with an attempted cannibal.

Dobby

Dobby could hide? Dobby is very good at hiding. Learned from many angry masters...

Deadpool

Tell you what - we'll hide your new boyfriend in the magic sack until after chimichanga time. But first...

BabyMetal

First we take PICTURES! Auntie will DIE when she sees pretty Dobby!

Dobby

Wait - Dobby changes mind! Dobby is allergic to cameras! And friendship! And purple!