Daddy Ironie’s Chimichanga Confession

Ironie

Look at her go. Three thousand years old and still gets excited about birds.

Deadpool

So, metal daddy, serious question time. Who's the baby mama? Don't tell me it's your sister—I've seen weirder family trees.

Ironie

Excuse me? Did you just—did you actually just ask if I banged my sister to make my daughter?

Deadpool

Hey, I've met the Hasburges! They made it work for like twelve generations!

Deadpool

Look, my bad! It's just—most immortal types I know keep it in the family. Less drama with mortals that way.

Ironie

No, Wade. I'm BabyMetal's mom AND dad. Long story involving bad metal and worse decisions.

Deadpool

Wait wait wait—you got yourself pregnant? Dude, that's like... ultimate self-love. What happens when she asks about the birds and the bees?

Ironie

She's three thousand. She already knows I'm a medical miracle and a cautionary tale.

BabyMetal

Daddy, why is the red man asking about my mommy? Is he going to be my new mommy?

Deadpool

Nope! Absolutely not! I draw the line at being a step-mom to a three-thousand-year-old toddler!