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Centuries-Old Mage Files Bankruptcy to Lesbians

Author Image

Lord

@Biglordallday

Characters

FrierenFrierenMichiru KaiouMichiru KaiouHaruka Ten'ouHaruka Ten'ou
Haruka

Haruka

Hey, granny, still crying over ancient history? The Court called it—love wins, you lose!

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Characters in this story

  • Frieren — Frieren is an elf mage whose perception of time is the central axis of the entire narrative. Although she appears to be a teenager or young adult, she has lived for over a thousand years.
  • Michiru Kaiou
  • Haruka Ten'ou
Story transcript

Haruka: Hey, granny, still crying over ancient history? The Court called it—love wins, you lose!

Michiru: Haruka, dear, let the poor elf grieve. She'll have centuries to regret that overdue fee.

Frieren: I-I'm not old! And 360,000 dollars is... is extortion for trying to fight for what's right.

Haruka: Ten years of compound interest, grandma. Read the fine print.

Michiru: With that windfall we could commission a concert hall... or buy that coastal cottage with the private beach.

Haruka: Race-car upgrades first, then the cottage. Priorities, Michiru.

Frieren: I slew demon lords! I won't be shaken down by... by speed-obsessed mortals!

Michiru: Then pay up, mage. Or we'll garnish your grimoire royalties for the next three centuries.

Frieren: I only wanted to preserve traditional paperwork...

Haruka: Welcome to the future, fossil. We file jointly now.