Cartman’s Secret Crush
Characters
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Characters in this story
- Eric Cartman — Respect his autoritah!
- Kyle Broflovski — "i learned something today"
Story transcript
Eric Cartman: Kyle, I have a highly confidential business proposition for you.
Kyle Broflovski: Why did you text me, “Come alone”?
Eric Cartman: You’re only here because I need your stupid face for this operation.
Kyle Broflovski: You’re sweating through your hat.
Eric Cartman: Because I love you, okay?!
Kyle Broflovski: Is this a prank?
Eric Cartman: No! It’s real! Tell anyone and I’ll deny it forever!
Kyle Broflovski: Cartman... are those hearts?
Eric Cartman: Don’t touch that! It’s a legal document!
Kyle Broflovski: You made me a Valentine’s card.
Eric Cartman: The hearts are decorative! They don’t mean I have feelings!