Bench-Press Royal Rumble

Golderia

Look at these golden guns, Silver! Still got it after the reformat!

Silveria

Your narcissistic exhibitionism remains delightfully intact.

Bruno Shell

Your scapula's drifting like a lost puppy, sparkle-boy. Drop the ego, fix the arch.

Golderia

Excuse me, mountain man, but I think I know how to—

Bruno Shell

Thinking's your first mistake. Lats tighter than your shorts or you'll fold like origami.

Golderia

Well then, big daddy density, show me the righteous path—and let's make it a contest while we're at it.

Bruno Shell

Contest? Against Tinker Bell and the Stretchy Prince? Hope you like second place, glitter.

Silveria

I shall partake, if only to quantify the statistical certainty of your imminent embarrassment.

Bruno Shell

That's... four hundred... with his pinky...

Golderia

Careful, Bruno—your gains are showing... your goosebumps, that is.

Bruno Shell

Spot me, glitter-gold—if this bar kisses the floor, I'll never bench again.

Golderia

Deal, mountain. But if you fold, you owe us a protein-shake tea party—tiny cups, pinkies up.

Silveria

I shall prepare the chamomile of shame.

Bruno Shell

For the pump, for the pump—

Silveria

Oh dear, my finger slipped.

Golderia

That's not a slip, that's a flex—someone call the physics police!

Bruno Shell

Put—put it down—my ego can't spot this!

Golderia

Congratulations, you've achieved immovable object status—king of the stuck!