Balcony drinking

Dana Zane

So, Stingray, when did you first realize dating is basically Russian roulette with feelings?

Jill

About the same time I realized my type is 'emotionally unavailable with commitment issues.'

Dana Zane

That's rich! My first girlfriend dumped me because I got my head stuck in a vending machine trying to get free snacks!

Jill

You're making that up. Please tell me you're making that up.

Dana Zane

Hand to God - well, hand to mechanical arm. Same difference.

Jill

So what happened with Lexi? You two seem... complicated.

Dana Zane

She said I was 'too much.' I said she was 'too little.' We compromised by her being wrong.

Jill

Sometimes I wonder if I'm just... destined to mix drinks for other people's love stories while screwing up my own.

Dana Zane

Hey, at least you're not the one who got dumped via text because they 'couldn't handle the chaos.'

Dana Zane

To spectacular failures in love - may we continue being terrible at this together!

Jill

You're going to make this our thing, aren't you?

Dana Zane

Stingray, we're already each other's 'emergency contact for bad decisions.' This is just making it official.