3.4-Billion-Year-Old Shark-Cat Playdate

Meta-Gurl

Ugh, why are there seventeen different anime café realms but only one weapon shop?

BabyMetal

Auntie Meta-Gurl, look! My new kitty is a shark-cat! She's like... a double-cute creature!

BabyMetal

Ooooh! Another Meta-Boi! Hi Meta-Boi lady!

Najimi

Meta... Boi? I've been called many things in 3.4 billion years, but that's a new one.

Meta-Gurl

I'm so sorry, she's still learning that not everyone with mysterious energy is family. Please ignore my niece.

Najimi

Oh, but this is fascinating. In all my existence, no one's ever mistaken me for their relative. Tell me, little one, what makes you think I'm a 'Meta-Boi'?

BabyMetal

You feel like Daddy and Auntie Meta-Gurl! Old and powerful and... and... like you've seen lots of bedtime stories!

Najimi

Bedtime stories? My dear child, I *am* the bedtime story that puts gods to sleep.

Meta-Gurl

Okay ancient mystery lady, we don't need any existential crises today. We're just trying to find a good realm for ice cream.

BabyMetal

Do you wanna hold her? She doesn't bite! She just wants to be a shark!

Najimi

3.4 billion years... and I've never been chosen by a shark-cat before. Perhaps being a 'Meta-Boi' isn't the worst thing I've been called.

Meta-Gurl

Wait... you're not going to obliterate reality for being mistaken as family?

Najimi

Oh, I might. But first, let's find that ice cream realm. Even ancient beings need dessert.

BabyMetal

Do you eat stars? Can you turn into a dinosaur? Did you invent tickles?

Najimi

Yes, no, and I perfected them.

Meta-Gurl

Niece, sit properly before you phase through the ceiling.

BabyMetal

Auntie says your age is 'don't-ask.' Is that bigger than three thousand?

Najimi

It's bigger than three thousand stacked on infinity.

BabyMetal

So you're super-duper old! Like Daddy after laundry day!

Meta-Gurl

Apologize before she erases the concept of Tuesdays!

Najimi

Relax, Meta-Gurl. I've already forgotten what Tuesdays are.

BabyMetal

Ooooh, can you forget broccoli too?

Najimi

Aren't you frightened of things older than death?

BabyMetal

Death? You mean like Athagar, the yellow ghost? He gave me piggyback rides last Tuesday.

Najimi

Athagar... Oh yes, the alternative of King in Yellow, I saw it on the public character list for WhatIf...

BabyMetal

He's super nice to me. But he keeps tripping over his own cape.

Najimi

Some of the characters I have read seem utterly nonsensical, making me feel like a dime a dozen in comparison.

Meta-Gurl

Don't think about it. Logic was given a permanent vacation after the merry-sues took over... Long story, and I dont wanna talk about it.

BabyMetal

Oh, you're talking about the guild people, and Silveia? They're kinda strict but nice. The really big guy gives me candy.

Najimi

I came seeking entertainment... and I've been adopted by a shark-cat and interrogated by a toddler.

Meta-Gurl

Welcome to the Kittyverse. Balance is eloping with nonsense, and we're all just here for a good time.

BabyMetal

Next stop: Ice cream AND dinosaur rides!