dinner blaster

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Golshi
Step right up, tiny humans! The Pingas Man's got a deal that'll blow your mind—literally!
Tomoko
It's a trap. He's gonna harvest our organs and sell them as limited-edition keychains…
Bocchi
I just wanted late-night melon soda… why is the vending machine yelling…
Konata
A real-life Pingas Blaster? This'll go viral on NicoNico—title it "When Autism Meets Anarchy!"
Golshi
One pull of the trigger and your enemies get blasted into 8-bit sprites—perfect for speedrunners!
Tomoko
If I zap myself, will I finally become a cute 2D girl with a dating-sim boyfriend…?
Bocchi
S-sorry! My hands are sweating from existential dread!
Golshi
Nobody move—this thing's set to randomized sprite-mode!
Konata
Stream chat says "DO IT, COWARD!"
Golshi
Limited-time offer—buy now and I'll throw in a free horse-girl NFT!
Tomoko
I regret every simp decision that led me here!
Bocchi
I just wanted friends, not… whatever this is…
Konata
Dude, I'm literally a Konami code!
Tomoko
I can't say anything perverted—my dialogue box censors me!
Golshi
Oops, set it to "permanent arcade mode." No refunds after midnight!
dinner blaster by Medic | WhatIf · WhatIf