Multiversal Tournament, Two elves, One punch

Rhok'zan

Welcome, mortals. I am Rhok'zan, your coach for the Multiversal Tournament.

Rhok'zan

Victory grants you all one wish, with a few common-sense stipulations. My gratitude is also included, of course.

Frieren

I've lived a thousand years and never heard of such games.

Saitama

I'm hungry. Is there anything to eat here?

Marcille

A tournament? But we barely know each other! How can we—

Frieren

Ten years is insufficient time to understand someone. Yet we have days.

Rhok'zan

Precisely why I chose you. Your unpredictability is... mathematically beautiful.

Saitama

So what's first? Punching contest? Because I should warn you—

Marcille

Wait, what if we fail? Do we... die?

Frieren

Everyone dies, Marcille. Some just take longer than others.

Rhok'zan

Do not worry. If you should fail and lose the tournament, you will be sent home with your memories of this tournament and events erased.

Marcille

Is... is this tea made from monsters?

Saitama

Tastes like convenience store mochi. Not bad.

Frieren

You mentioned our unpredictability. You do realize Saitama's physical strength is beyond even magic, right?

Rhok'zan

He is just a human fighter... *looks into Saitam's past* HOW DID YOU KICK A PORTAL?!?

Saitama

Dunno. I just didn't want it there, so I just kicked it.

Rhok'zan

Your battle with Cosmic Garou... you punched through reality itself. The tournament's dimensional barriers may not—

Saitama

Want some? Tastes like convenience store cake but fancier.

Frieren

You seem... agitated. I've seen that look when ancient liches realize their phylacteries aren't as secure as they thought.

Rhok'zan

The tournament's foundational magic assumes participants follow basic conservation of mass-energy. He simply... ignores physics when inconvenient.

Marcille

We're going to be disqualified for breaking reality, aren't we? My dark thesis advisor warned me about contracts with deities—

Frieren

Speaking of ancient knowledge, do you have any grimoires I haven't read? Preferably ones that won't implode mortal minds?

Rhok'zan

My personal library contains texts that would drive lesser beings mad, but given your... unique resistance to causality...

Saitama

May I please have another slice of cake?

Rhok'zan

This grimoire contains spells that bend probability. With your friend's... disregard for physics, combined with Frieren's elven of spellcraft...

Saitama

Cool. Wake me when there's actual fighting or more cake.

Frieren

Oh, this is interesting. I did not know you could turn tenacles into flowers.