Reborn On Battlefield 6

Asuka

Why are you all so useless? We're getting steamrolled!

Megumi

(Her screaming is more distracting than the enemy team.)

Deku

I-I'm trying my best, but they're everywhere!

Amy

Maybe if we work together more-

Amy

-we can turn this around!

Asuka

Game over! You three are the worst squad ever!

Megumi

(Little does she know, I've been recording this entire meltdown.)

Amy

Um... Asuka? Maybe you should try positive reinforcement.

Asuka

(This is worst than fighting Angels with Shinji.)

Asuka

A sniper rifle in close quarters? Are you trying to get us all killed?

Asuka

You're just like that baka Shinji, always making the wrong choices!

Deku

I-I thought if I could get a good position...

Deku

(Why does she have to bring up Shinji?)

Amy

Asuka, maybe we could try a different approach?

Amy

We're all learning together!

Asuka

(Shinji married that Sailor Scout... and I wasn't even worth a goodbye.)

Amy

You miss him, don't you? It's okay to admit it.

Amy

(Even tough girls need someone to understand them.)

Asuka

I-it's not like I care what that idiot does!

Asuka

(But why do I still think about him when I'm with these losers?)

Megumi

Enemy squad approaching from west corridor. Thirty seconds.

Asuka

Alright, listen up! Amy, you flank left with your hammer.

Asuka

Deku, switch to pistol and stick close to me!

Deku

R-roger! I'll cover you!

Asuka

(Maybe this squad isn't so hopeless after all.)

Asuka

They're pushing hard! Hold the chokepoint!

Asuka

No more mistakes!

Megumi

(Three enemies, one corridor. Time to even the odds.)

Deku

I've got your back, Megumi!

Megumi

(Down. All three. They never saw the shadows coming.)

Amy

I'm hit! Need... revive...

Asuka

Amy! Don't you dare die on me!

Asuka

(Seven seconds... six...)

Amy

We... we actually won?

Asuka

(We won... and I didn't lose anyone. Maybe... maybe this squad's not so bad.)

Asuka

You were streaming this entire time, Megumi? What the hell?

Megumi

Too late. Ten thousand viewers watched you go full tsundere squad leader.

Megumi

(The chat's spamming 'Asuka best girl' nonstop.)

Deku

Asuka-san, I'm really sorry about the sniper rifle thing...

Deku

You actually believed in me when it mattered!

Asuka

I-it's not like I was worried about you or anything!

Asuka

(Why does his sincere gratitude make my chest feel weird?)

Amy

We make such an amazing team! Like chocolate and chili!

Amy

Same time tomorrow, everyone?

Asuka

(Now Misato and Rei are texting me calling me "Commander Tsundere".) I'll never live this down.

Megumi

Oh, and Asuka? The JSDF gaming division wants to sponsor our squad.

Megumi

They love your 'aggressive leadership style.'

Asuka

(From Eva pilot to meme queen... my life is a cosmic joke.)

Asuka

Fine. But if anyone calls me 'waifu material,' I'm rage-quitting life.