Hertas fresh report

Herta

Okay Herta, you’ve studied the memes, you’ve practiced the slang—time to vibe with the youths.

Herta

This "boba" tea is very sigma, I guess that's how the zoomers phrase it?

Herta

Uh… why are three dudes in identical hoodies hanging around a van looking inside the shop? very sus.

Herta

Yo, fam… see those grippers spying? might need to be on guard before skidbidi'ing out of here.

Herta

(They just asked if I want to “hop in the van for a ride” That’s not aesthetic—that’s based kidnapping!)

Herta

Bet. Let’s see them catch their keys first before the feds catch those hands up!