Portal of Crimson Sakura Tears

Sakura

This chakra... it's not from our world. The atmosphere feels wrong. It looks like we’re in the projects .

Sasuke

The exit sealed behind us. Someone wanted us trapped here. We just have to think . We gangstas we can figure this out

Naruto

Look! These markings are responding to my chakra! Maybe I can—yell for help .. help help somebody help we stuck in this room . Aww man I see roaches

Tenten

(The ceiling's unstable. If I can anchor this line...)Maybe I can break open the ceiling some more and see if I can see where we are eww it’s roaches

Sakura

Naruto, stop! The more chakra you use, the faster the temple collapses!

Sasuke

That scroll... it's using our combined chakra to summon something. This is some creepy shit you guys I knew I should have stayed at home

Naruto

(Sakura's being pulled through! If I let go, we might never see her again!) Hold on Sakura I got you what’s that smell did you fart I’m about to puke

Tenten

The pull's too strong! My kunai are feeding it!

Sasuke

(Her weight's nothing against this force—need an anchor point now!) I told your ass to go the gym and hit the weights now get out now

Naruto

Got the rope! Sasuke, wedge your sword in those cracks! I’m going pull her out damn Sakura yo azz fat aww shit my bad

Sasuke

(If I angle it just right, the blade will catch... there!) and you Naruto I need for you to get your head out her azz and pull her out

Tenten

The portal... it's scanning my weapons pouch! It's choosing what to take!

Sakura

(The altar's responding to the portal's polarity... if I reverse my healing chakra...) I might power up but I got to dodo

Sakura

Tenten, let go of everything metal—now! those chains fake anyway let it have that shit

Tenten

(My entire arsenal... it's all being devoured. But I'm... floating back?) I just bout that switch and extendo.. this mutha !

Sakura

These aren't stone patterns—they're circuits! This whole temple is a machine! Naruto what was in the weed I must be high

Tenten

(My rope—it's not rope anymore! It's... it's inside the seal!) somebody come get this rope off of me like now not you Naruto you freak

Naruto

The Nine-Tails... it's trying to connect to whatever's controlling this place! this is some trippy stuff you guys I wonder was it the weed ?

Sasuke

(Chidori can cut through anything—even data streams!) screw this I’m getting out of here watch out

Sasuke

These... these are our Academy memories. But they're corrupted—wrong!

Naruto

(That's me from the Academy... but he's got black eyes instead of blue. This thing's stealing our identities!) Wtf pass the blunt

Sakura

If this temple feeds on our chakra and memories... then let's give it something it can't digest!

Tenten

(All my weapons are gone... but I still have my chakra. Time to forge something new!) I’m about to blow this bitch up

Naruto

(That's... me. But his eyes are empty—like looking into a dead mirror.) Wtf am I looking at this some good as weed

Sakura

Naruto, your chakra signature—it's splitting! The temple's copying you! you dumb azz you need to stop doing drugs

Naruto

Get... off... He's stealing my voice! O shit this is real this Muthafuka choking me , somebody help

Sasuke

(The clone's chakra network is identical—if I strike, I might hit the real one.) Naruto if this is you what’s the name of the big booty lady next door

Tenten

My chakra blades—they're passing through him! He's not solid!

Sakura

(The altar's synchronizing with both of them—if I disrupt the frequency...)

Naruto

Too slow, losers. While you hesitated, I became the real one. And for the record the big booty lady is Pooh Wooh

Sasuke

(My Sharingan can't tell them apart—both have identical chakra. Which one...?)

Sakura

Sasuke, don't choose! The temple's making you doubt reality itself!