A Pimp vs A Trick vs A Simp Part 2

Sanji

You two disgust me! Women aren't trophies you buy with dirty cash!

Kazuma

Says the guy who gets kicked into the friend-zone by his own crewmate. Real smooth, simp.

Jin-Woo

He actually thought flowers would work on Nami. She charged him delivery fee for the bouquet.

Sanji

(These punks will never understand a lady's heart... but I'll defend their honor anyway!)

Kazuma

Look, chef-boy, respect is earned. My girls get paid, pampered, and never sail away.

Jin-Woo

Sanji, you're still a virgin. You can't weigh in with us. Go flip a pancake, boy.

Sanji

Oh, that's it. I know enough about you two. Let me tell the audience something.

Sanji

You remember Sylvia, right Kazuma? The succubus who turned you out in front of Megumin?

Sanji

Cried like a baby while Aqua heal you from that encounter.

Kazuma

H-How do you even know about that?!

Sanji

And Sung, your lawyer's been avoiding you because of that little situation in Manila.

Sanji

The one involving a certain karaoke hostess and a very expensive child support case.

Jin-Woo

That's... that's confidential information!

Jin-Woo

(How did this cook find out? My Shadow Soldiers never mentioned leaks...)

Kazuma

Look man, Sylvia was different! She was supposed to be my dream girl! I didn't know she used to be a man.

Kazuma

And the pimping thing is just... it's complicated!

Sanji

Complicated? You're both just scared little boys playing adult games.

Sanji

Real men don't need to pay for affection or hide their mistakes.

Jin-Woo

(Pick up... pick up! If this gets out, my reputation as a Hunter...)

Jin-Woo

At least I’ve got proof I’m a man—an illegitimate kid. You’re still chasing after Nami, simp.

Sanji

Oh, you mean the kid your Manila baby-mama’s dragging through court for unpaid milk money?

Sanji

She posted receipts—says you’re “mid-tier” and cheap on top.

Jin-Woo

(How’d that leak? Shadow’s intel was flawless…)

Jin-Woo

She’s exaggerating—international wires take time!

Sanji

While you stall, I restocked your kid’s whole backpack—pencils, notebooks, even a One Piece lunchbox.

Kazuma

World’s strongest Hunter can’t afford crayons! Sanji’s out here playing daddy on your tab—priceless!

Jin-Woo

(Enjoy the laugh. Once the cameras cut, the shadows come out.)

Sanji

Next time you brag about manhood, pay your bills first, gentleman.

Kazuma

Hey, Jin-Woo, need a loan? My rates are better than child-support court.

Sanji

You... you paid Nami? For the entire night?

Kazuma

That's right, chef. Nami gave it up to me last night. She told me you were coming.

Kazuma

She said she'd never been with someone who actually appreciated her navigation skills... among other talents.

Sanji

(No... my beautiful Nami-swan... with this degenerate...)

Jin-Woo

The great Black Leg Sanji, defeated by a shut-in with a fat wallet. This is going viral.

Kazuma

Oh, and Sanji? You might want to sanitize the kitchen counters. That's where we... celebrated her cartography lesson.

Kazuma

We used the counter tops, bring bleach and gloves.

Sanji

(My sanctuary... my culinary temple... defiled by this monster...)

Sanji

I... I need to be alone. The kitchen will never smell the same again.

Jin-Woo

Here I thought I was so bad for paying. Damn, Kazuma.