Eggman's Villain Bootcamp Crash-Course

Eggman

Great masters of evil, I beg your guidance!

Freeza

Why is this egg-shaped buffoon wasting my time?

Aizen

How fascinating. You seek to learn true evil from us?

Sesshy

How did you locate me, human? This insult demands explanation.

Eggman

I-I used Craigslist. Please, that damned blue rodent is driving me insane.

Freeza

I'll teach you evil by destroying you where you stand!

Aizen

Wait a second Frieza. I have a plan.

Eggman

Why do I feel cold all the sudden?

Aizen

My dear Eggman, true evil isn't destruction—it's manipulation. Let me show you the art of the long con.

Eggman

Aizen-sama, teach me! I'll sell my entire robot army if needed!

Sesshy

Pathetic. This human would trade his soul for power he cannot comprehend.

Aizen

Sign here. My shell company, 'Kyoka Suigetsu Holdings,' guarantees 300% returns in 30 days.

Aizen

Your robots will be converted into spiritual energy harvesters. Revolutionary technology.

Eggman

(With this power, Sonic won't stand a chance! I'll finally win!)

Freeza

Aizen, you're wasting your talents on this fool. His robots are barely worth scrap metal.

Aizen

Too late, Eggman. The contract just transferred ownership of your entire empire. Including your mustache trademark.

Eggman

(My... my robots... my empire... what have I done?)

Sesshy

Perhaps I'll watch this human grovel. His despair might prove... entertaining.

Aizen

Look at you now, Eggman. From emperor to beggar in one signature.

Eggman

Please... I have nothing left. My mustache... even that belongs to you now!

Freeza

Hah! This is what happens when mortals play with gods of evil!

Freeza

You're not even worth the energy to destroy, egg-boy!

Sesshy

(Enough. This mockery ends now.)

Freeza

What do you think you're doing, dog-demon?

Sesshy

Your voice grates on my ears. Silence.

Freeza

(Impossible... he cut through my final form...)

Aizen

Sesshoumaru... you've grown more interesting than I calculated.

Sesshy

Your illusions won't work on me, shinigami. Draw your blade.

Aizen

Then let's see if you can cut what cannot be cut.

Eggman

(I've brought gods to kill each other... what have I done...)

Aizen

Kyoka Suigetsu. Let's see if your legendary sword can cut through illusions themselves.

Sesshy

Bakusaiga. Your tricks end here.

Aizen

(Impossible... he can see through my complete hypnosis?)

Sesshy

Tokijin. The path of the demon is not yours to walk.

Aizen

(This power... it's not just raw strength... it's something else entirely...)

Eggman

(They're all distracted... now's my chance!)

Sesshy

Running? How pathetic. You're not worthy of being evil.

Sesshy

Give up this foolish quest. Find a different path.

Eggman

(My robots... my empire... my evil... all gone. What am I without it?)

Eggman

(I wanted to be the greatest villain... but maybe... maybe I was just running from being nothing at all.)