Obsession Anonymous: Therapy Gone Yandere

Harley

Alright my little obsession addicts! Today's word of the day is... letting go!

Prince

I don't need therapy, clown. I need Kakarot to stop being so... so... INFURIATINGLY STRONG! Also, you used two words.

Yuno

(They can't understand. Yuki is mine. Only mine. Forever.)

Mikasa

This is pointless. Some rivals... some people you can never let go of. They define you.

Harley

Time for the trust fall exercise! Who wants to go first?

Prince

TRUST FALL? I AM THE PRINCE OF ALL SAIYANS! I TRUST NO ONE!

Yuno

(Maybe if I eliminate the competition, Yuki will finally notice me...)

Mikasa

Harley-sensei. Behind you. Now.

Harley

(Oh... this is new. Usually I'M the one holding sharp objects near people's throats...)

Prince

Hmph. Maybe this therapy thing will be more entertaining than I thought.

Harley

Nice reflexes, cutie! But we're gonna have to work on your impulse control!

Yuno

(This therapist is strong... but I'll eliminate anyone who tries to separate me from Yuki...)

Prince

That's it, clown! Show her what happens when someone threatens a Saiyan's pride!

Prince

Though I suppose in your case, it's more like a circus performer's pride!

Mikasa

E-Eren never... he never looked at me like Yuno looks at her... person...

Mikasa

(What if my devotion was just... meaningless?)

Yuno

Mikasa-chan, you're wrong. True love is when you'd burn the world to keep them safe...

Yuno

...or when you'd stab anyone who tries to take them away!

Harley

EXCELLENT! Now THAT'S what I call breakthrough material!

Harley

Yuno gets today's gold star for demonstrating textbook obsessive attachment!

Harley

Vegeta, you're our control subject - showing healthy competitive spirit!

Mikasa

...Maybe I need to be more honest about my feelings. About Eren.

Mikasa

(If they can be this open about their obsessions... maybe I can too.)

Prince

This is ridiculous. I'm the Prince of all Saiyans, not some... group therapy success story!

Prince

(But why does watching them be honest feel... familiar?)

Prince

My son's birthday party? Missed it. Training. My daughter's recital? Training! Everything for what? To watch Kakarot surpass me AGAIN!

Harley

Oh sweetie, that's some heavy stuff. Come here, let's work through this—

Yuno

Yuki would never abandon me! He promised we'd be together forever and ever and EVER!

Mikasa

(Eren... if only I could hold you like this table... why didn't I tell you sooner...)

Harley

Down girl! DOWN! This is a therapy session, not a furniture store! I just had that table cleaned after Poison and Zenitsu had their fun a few days ago

Mikasa

*whimper* ...Eren...

Prince

(These fools wear their hearts like armor... and somehow... they're still standing...)

Harley

Next week - couples therapy! Bring your rivals, bring your obsessions, bring the whole dysfunctional crew!

Harley

(What have I done? Yuno's in a straitjacket, Vegeta's on a stretcher, and Mikasa's probably scaling walls to find Eren...)

Harley

I'm the worst therapist ever. Mister J was right - I just make everything worse...

Yuno

YUKI! YUKI! I'll kill everyone who keeps us apart! I'll kill them all!

Prince

(Defeated by my own emotions... in front of that clown... and the check cleared for sixty thousand dollars...)

Mikasa

(Eren's apartment... third floor... window's open... he's eating dinner... alone...)

Harley

Sixty. Thousand. Dollars! Who needs ethics when you've got BILLS TO PAY!

Harley

Hello? Yes, I'd like to book the same time next week. I've got a new group.

Harley

(Who says therapy can't be profitable? These anime characters are GOLD MINES!)