Draco loves his boyfriend Harry

Dante

Three days. That's how long that slice has been sitting there.

Snape

It's not a slice. It's an experiment in fungal growth patterns.

Draco

Someone's been using my shampoo again. The expensive one from Paris.

Harry

(It was just a tiny bit. My hair was having a crisis.)

Dante

Speaking of sharing... whose turn is it in the rotation tonight?

Snape

Actually, I've prepared the bedroom. Special potion. Twenty-four hour duration.

Harry

Wait, what kind of potion are we talking about here?