Popper Problems: Therapy with Harley

Harley

So, you two lovebirds wanna tell Dr. Harley what brought you here today?

Zenitsu

SHE RAMMED ME! My butt was bleeding for three days straight!

Poison

It was just a little recreational enhancement, babe. You're being dramatic.

Zenitsu

You know I can't deal with pressure

Harley

Poppers, huh? That's amateur hour, Red. Tell me, did you at least use protection?

Poison

Of course I did. I love my thunder bunny too much to put him at risk.

Harley

I've got it! The perfect couple's exercise - you'll both engage in some roleplay. Poison, you'll take the place of Zenitsu. Zenitsu, get ready!

Zenitsu

Oh shucks...

Poison

Come on, Zenny~ Don't keep me waiting.

Zenitsu

Oh Zenny~ I'm such a big scary dom who needs enhancement drugs because I can't perform!

Poison

Real mature, thunder bunny. You gonna cry about your precious Nezuko next?

Poison

Oh Nezuko-chan~ Your bamboo is so kawaii! I wish I could protect you forever!

Zenitsu

(She went there... she actually went there)

Harley

Whoa whoa whoa! No hitting below the belt, kids! We're here to heal, not kill!

Poison

At least I don't fantasize about my best friend's sister, pervert.

Zenitsu

SIX-FOLD BREATHING TECHNIQUE!

Harley

(Note to self: add "no jutsu" to couples therapy waiver)

Zenitsu

I'LL KILL YOU!

Poison

Bring it, thunder boy.

Harley

ENOUGH!

Harley

(Time for some aggressive therapy!)

Zenitsu

(Oh no oh no oh no!)

Poison

(Wait, he's actually...)

Zenitsu

(Don't look at me don't look at me don't look at me...)

Poison

Well well, someone missed their mommy.

Harley

See? Aggressive therapy works! Now kiss and make up, lovebirds!

Poison

I... I shouldn't have been so rough with you, Zenny. The poppers were a mistake.

Zenitsu

No, I was the childish one! Getting all worked up about Nezuko when you're right here...

Harley

Aww, look at you two! Making up is always the best part of therapy.

Poison

Come here, my little thunder bunny. Let me show you how gentle I can be.

Zenitsu

(Her hands are so warm...)

Harley

Whoa there! This is a therapy office, not a love hotel! Out! OUT!

Poison

Thanks for nothing, doc. The session's over.

Harley

(Hey! That's not how this works! Did she really toss me out of my office? Why is "Freak Me" by Silk playing now?)

Zenitsu

(Wow, Poison's never so gentle with me.) Coming honey...