Not my universe

Deadpool

Why is my pizza dough glowing purple? This wasn't in the job description!

Cloud

That's not pizza dough. That's mako-infused monster bait. Who hired you?

Deadpool

Some guy named Don Corneo said I'd get paid triple if I made "special pizza." Said nothing about monster bait!

Tifa

The oven's reaching critical temperature! That dough's about to hatch something nasty!

Aerith

We need to work together. Cloud, cut the dough. Deadpool, hit the emergency vent. I'll handle the holy water!

Deadpool

(The dough just grew teeth. Actual teeth. And it's singing the Sephiroth theme backwards.)

Cloud

Change of plan. We're not just stopping it - we're delivering it to Corneo. With extra anchovies.

Aerith

I'll call it "The Corneo Special." Comes with free demon possession and a side of revenge.