Mei Mei's Home

Mei Mei

You're eighteen now, right? Perfect timing.

Kazuma

(This is definitely a trap. A really expensive-looking trap.)

Mei Mei

Don't worry, I'll even give you a discount. First-time customer special. Now get over here.

Kazuma

Discount?! How much are we talking?!

Mei Mei

(This is gonna be good. Extra virgin, delicious.)

Kazuma

Wait... this is the night I become a man???

Mei Mei

Sign here. I need you to fill this NDA out. (He has no idea what I'm gonna do to him.)

Kazuma

(My virtue is gone. I never knew a woman could be so demanding.)

Kazuma

M-mommy... help me...

Mei Mei

Shh... you're mine now. That NDA means you gotta keep quiet.

Mei Mei

Now be a good boy and give me a massage. The way my younger brother used too.

Kazuma

(Oh god. I know I was wanted a hot lady, but not like this...)

Mei Mei

Running away? I have your address, phone number, and emergency contact.

Mei Mei

You're mine boy. Not even Aqua can save you from me.

Kazuma

Please! I'll do anything! Just leave me alone.

Mei Mei

I love it when you make that face.

Mei Mei

Kazuma Satou, will you marry me? Refusal means death.

Kazuma

Oh come on, now. It was a one night stand not a courtship.

Kazuma

(This is it. The final boss. And I can't use Steal on my own wife...)

Mei Mei

Now we're legally bound. No escape clauses, husband.

Mei Mei

Wow, Aqua didn't even bother interfering. Ha! serves her right.

Kazuma

W-wait! Can't we negotiate? We already explored each other.

Mei Mei

The only negotiation is how loud you scream my name.

Kazuma

(Darkness... Aqua, Megumin, Darkness... I'm sorry.)

Mei Mei

Lights out, Mr. Satou. Time to pay the piper. Lay down for me, momma's home.

Kazuma

(I'm starting to miss Sylvia.)

Mei Mei

The twins are kicking again. Come feel your children, dear husband.

Kazuma

(My life is over. Aqua was right. This is truly God's blessing... on her.)

Mei Mei

The doctor says they're healthy. Strong. Just like their mother.

Mei Mei

Your love for me shall increase every day.

Kazuma

How did I go from NEET to father of twins in six months?! I need to cut my cocaine use.

Mei Mei

Come here. Let me remind you why resistance is futile.

Kazuma

Yes dear... (Fuck my life. To top it off Mei Mei is getting fat...)

Mei Mei

HEY! I heard that. I'll gonna have to sit on you now.

Kazuma

Please just let this be over