When The Rizz Goes Wrong

Rudeus

You know, Hokage-sama, I've been studying more than just healing techniques. I need some hands on direction.

Tsunade

Kid, you couldn't even reach the top shelf of my medicine cabinet.

Rudeus

My body might be young, but I've lived through multiple lifetimes. I'm actually older than I look.

Tsunade

Is that so? I'm fifty one and been waiting for a new guy to dust me off.

Rudeus

Age is just a number, but loneliness isn't. Maybe we both need someone who understands.

Tsunade

(Maybe this kid... no, this man... might be exactly what I didn't know I needed.)

Rudeus

The night is young, and I have energy to spare. Let's get down on it.

Tsunade

Well, if we're both adults here, no point pretending otherwise.

Rudeus

(She's actually going for it... this legendary kunoichi...)

Tsunade

Not bad for an old man in a kid's body.

Rudeus

(Oh gods, Sylphiette... what am I doing?)

Tsunade

You have a WIFE?! What kind of woman do you take me for? I'm a damn Hokage.

Rudeus

That's not so bad. Plenty of world leaders have affairs, look at Bill Clinton or Donald Trump.

Tsunade

(He's right... and I'm not exactly innocent either...)

Tsunade

Then let's both be terrible people together. Just for tonight.

Rudeus

(Sylphiette... what have I done... need to get out before she wakes up)

Tsunade

Running away so soon? The Hokage doesn't appreciate being used like a one-night stand.

Rudeus

T-Tsunade-sama, this was... a mistake. I have a wife, responsibilities...

Tsunade

Mistake? You weren't calling it a mistake when you were begging for more last night.

Tsunade

(He's not getting away. Not when I've finally found someone who matches my appetite)

Rudeus

Please... if Sylphiette finds out, she'll... she'll leave me!

Tsunade

Then you'd better keep me satisfied, Rudeus. Because if I can't have you... no one can.

Rudeus

(Sylphiette's calling... and Tsunade's not letting me leave... what have I gotten myself into?)

Rudeus

(Three months... three months of this nightmare... Sylphiette thinks I'm on a research expedition...)

Tsunade

Rudeus~ I bought something special. I know how much you like green.

Rudeus

Please, Tsunade-sama... I haven't seen my family in months. I'll do anything, just let me go home!

Tsunade

Home? You ARE home. Now get over here.

Rudeus

I have a daughter! A wife! They need me! Haven't you taken enough of my time?

Tsunade

No.

Rudeus

Someone... anyone... please help me... she's not going to let me leave...

Tsunade

No one's coming for you, Rudeus. You're mine now. All mine. You should have rizzed up someone with less self respect, now say cheese.