Spike loves his Milfs

Spike

(Three beautiful women, all older, all interested. This is going better than expected.)

Rangiku

You're quite the smooth talker for someone who looks like they just lost a fight with gravity.

Tsunade

A man who knows his whiskey and has scars worth investigating? How old are you, cowboy?

Raikou

Such forward behavior. Though I suppose a man who dances with danger has his appeal.

Spike

(Wait... why do I hear carnival music and the smell of chimichangas?)

Spike

(The fourth wall... it's cracking. And I think I just saw a yellow speech bubble reflected in the mirror.)

Rangiku

What's wrong, cowboy? You look like you've seen a ghost. Or worse - your ex-wife.

Rangiku

You know what they say about cowboys who drink alone... they're always looking for someone to ride with them home.

Spike

(A floating yellow box. Comic sans font. This is actually happening.)

Spike

Damn it, Deadpool! I'm trying to have a moment here!

Tsunade

Who's Deadpool? And why are you talking to the mirror like it owes you money?

Raikou

Spike-san, perhaps you've had too much to drink? You're seeing things that aren't there.

Spike

Author! I'm trying to score here with three gorgeous women, and you're letting Deadpool crash my party? What kind of wingman are you?

Rangiku

Talking to invisible people now? That's... actually kind of hot. The crazy ones are always more fun.

Tsunade

(Oh, he can see the fourth wall breaking? This one might actually be interesting enough to keep around...)

Rangiku

Let's see how real you are, cowboy.

Spike

(This is NOT how I imagined this going...)

Spike

Really? RIGHT NOW? I'm trying to have a moment here!

Tsunade

Let me guess... invisible audience again? How delightfully deranged.

Raikou

Such... forward behavior. But I suppose madness runs hand in hand with passion.

Spike

Author! This is YOUR fault! I'm trying to get laid and you're giving the readers fan service! What kind of wingman are you?

Rangiku

Stop talking to yourself. Or don't. Either way, you're coming home with me tonight.

Spike

(Wait... did she just... and why are there three different colored boxes floating above us now?)