A Sailor Scout intervention: Thunder Passion

Ami

Makoto, you can't just BUY a husband! That's illegal! Even if Sanji was a playboy and a pirate, he still has rights.

Rei

This is human trafficking! As a Sailor Scout you should have known better.

Mako

You all don't understand. Nami and I had a deal. She wanted Sanji off her back and I wanted to get behind him. It worked out.

Ami

You can't be serious? Surely, you could have found a husband without coercion?

Mako

Look, I'm transgender. A lot of people just write me off as too aggressive because of my attitude. After many night I domesticated Sanji. We're good

Rei

Domesticated, huh? Makoto, you know better. Right now you sound like a cliche from 90 day fiancé.

Mako

Oh c'mon guys. Just try this meal Sanji cooked for me. He said he did it out of love.

Ami

Oh my god... this is the best omelet I've ever... wait, where's Sanji? Surely he must be doing ok?

Mako

Sanji's out at the market right now. But lets talk about my relationship with him. There's a lot you all need to know.

Rei

Fine, Makoto justify your bullshit to us.

Mako

I need to show you something. This is Sanji's letter to me after our wedding night.

Ami

This better not be another one of your AI generated experiments, Mako.

Mako

He wrote: "My beloved Makoto, you taught me that love transcends everything. When you held me that night, I understood what love truly means."

Rei

You turned out a womanizer?

Ami

"Your strength as a woman inspires me, your kindness melts my heart like caramelized sugar..." Mako, this is actually... beautiful? Damn he's whipped.

Mako

I didn't buy him. I liberated him from his own chains. He just needed someone to give him a push from behind, all night...

Rei

Then explain why there's a collar on the floor. Why do you need to chain up Sanji like a dog?

Mako

Well... it's that Sanji has been.... made into a freak by me. Sorry I can't help it...

Ami

Oh my god, that face is more precious than the time you and Usagi drank Gasoline. Smile

Mako

Okay, I'll tell you everything. But you have to promise not to judge me.

Ami

We're listening. Start from the beginning.

Mako

I may have... used some unconventional methods to help Sanji understand my needs.

Mako

Let's just say he learned to anticipate my preferences very quickly.

Rei

You used 50 shades of Grey as manual...

Ami

(I can't even get a second date or a call back from a guy, but here's Makoto with a chef of her own.)

Mako

He makes the most amazing breakfast in bed now. Perfectly timed to my schedule. He even gives me table showers and good times afterwards.

Rei

This is so unfair. You got a man who can cook AND follows orders?

Rei

I'm still single and can't even get a date to the shrine festival. Wait a second, TABLE SHOWERS???!!!!!

Ami

At least you have someone who understands data analysis isn't boring.

Ami

My last date fell asleep during my lecture on quantum computing. Alright Makoto, I need Nami's number. I want a man like Sanji.

Mako

Don't worry, I'm not so selfish. Only thing is that Nami tried to take Sanji back. I won though so she backed. My member's something Sanji needs.

Mako

That night Sanji and I went at it. I made sure he knew that unlike Nami, I WANTED him around.

Ami

Oh my god, these cookies are absolute delight. I just hope you're treating him well, Makoto.

Ami

(Maybe I should start looking for a partner who appreciates both science AND pastry...)

Rei

So tell us more about this training program.

Rei

For research purposes, of course.

Mako

Let me be clear—Sanji wasn't won with money. He was won with understanding, patience, and yes... very strategic seduction.

Ami

Wow, you really got him.

Rei

I know I asked for your training program, but damn girl this is some new age shit.

Mako

Nami never saw him as anything but a meal ticket! When I showed him real affection—when I saw him as a man, not just a cook—he CHOSE to stay.

Ami

(Oh god, she's giving us details...) Did you have to bring up the first time with him?

Rei

So... he just... agreed to be your husband after one night?

Mako

Three nights. And by the third, he was the one asking me to marry him. Said he'd never met anyone who wanted him for who he was, not just his cooking.

Ami

I need Nami's number. If there are more like Sanji out there, I want one who appreciates data analysis and molecular gastronomy.

Rei

Make that two requests. But I want one who can handle shrine duties AND make good tea.

Mako

Speak of the devil... Sanji! You're home early!

Ami

(Oh god, the actual pirate is here...)

Rei

We'll just... let ourselves out. Congratulations on your very unconventional marriage, Mako.