Star Rail Macking To Pimping

Kafka

Another kid trying his luck? How adorable.

Kazuma

I'm not a kid! I'm practically a grown man who's taken down demon generals.

Kafka

Then act like it. Show me something impressive, demon king slayer.

Kazuma

(She's playing hard to get... Time for my secret weapon.)

Kazuma

I may be young, but I know exactly how to make a woman like you surrender.

Kafka

Is that so? I'm old enough to be your mother.

Kazuma

I'm old enough to make us parents.

Kafka

(Damn he's good. Why am I getting weak like this?)

Kazuma

C'mon, I got a place we can go. Follow me.

Kafka

You're on. You better be more than just talk.

Kafka

You said you knew how to make a woman surrender. Well congratulations, you succeeded.

Kazuma

W-wait, what?! That night was supposed to be just... how is this possible?! I pulled out!!

Kafka

I'm three months along. You think I wanted this? You're taking responsibility, period. You said you'd make us parents, right? Now you need to man up.

Kazuma

(This is worse when I got shots from Sylvia.)

Kafka

I need you to rub my feet, feed me, and tell me I'm pretty.

Kazuma

I can't even afford child support! My party spent all our quest rewards on... on useless junk. I can't even pre-order Battlefield 6...

Kafka

Too bad. You should have thought about that before you rizzed me up.

Kazuma

Damn, here's hoping I can make Aqua go on the stroll for me.

Kazuma

Baby girl, my stable's bringing in that paper. Aqua and Darkness working overtime.

Kafka

Your "stable" is getting more attention than me. I need you around more Kazzy...

Kazuma

Listen here, mama. My hoes working hard but the market's competitive. Even Darkness got standards now! Alright, I gots to be there. I'm Daddy.

Kafka

Standards? You've got Aqua in a bunny costume charging 500 dollars an hour. She just blows it at the casino. You're lame.

Kazuma

(Damn, why she gotta read me like that? I got to keep my pimp hand strong.)

Kafka

Fine. If you can't man up, then I will. I'll be the momma and the daddy.

Kazuma

(Oh shit I need to hold this down. Think fast...)

Kafka

Make your move daddy, or else I'll go!!

Kafka

Three months and you show up with cash now? Where'd you really get it?

Kazuma

Let's just say Aqua got overtime. Now I'm the one calling shots around here.

Kafka

That's more like it. But money talks, actions walk. Prove you're serious.

Kazuma

(Time to show her who's really in charge here...)

Kafka

What the hell are you—

Kazuma

(Finally... showing her I'm not just some kid playing games.)

Kafka

Alright... maybe you do know how to handle a woman after all. I'm yours daddy. Consider me your #1.

Kazuma

Then wear this. You're not just my baby mama anymore... you're my partner in this empire.

Kafka

(I guess he had it in him this whole time...)