Clown Therapy for a Broken Eva

Shinji

(Everyone melted into orange juice and it was my fault... Mother's voice saying I should just die...)

Harley

Tell me about these dreams, kid. The ones where you're holding someone's hand?

Shinji

It's not a dream. I... I killed everyone. My friends. My father. All because I wanted to run away.

Harley

(This kid's guilt runs deeper than the Gotham sewers...)

Harley

Shinji, look at me. What you experienced wasn't real. Instrumentality was a shared hallucination.

Shinji

Then why does it feel more real than this? Than sitting here in this stupid office with some clown doctor?

Harley

I may be a clown, kid, but I've seen what guilt does to people. It eats them alive from the inside.

Harley

And you're letting it win.

Shinji

(Wait... why does her prescription pad say "Property of Arkham Asylum"?)

Harley

Don't worry, sweetie. These little pills will make all those nasty thoughts go away. Doctor Quinn guarantees it.

Shinji

(Oh god... I'm not the patient with mental health issues here...)

Shinji

(Misato's lips were warm... but she was already dying... and I just stood there like a coward...)

Harley

This Misato... she kissed you before the Third Impact?

Harley

How old were you, sweetie?

Shinji

Fourteen. And Asuka... she called me disgusting. Said I was pathetic for wanting human contact.

Shinji

(She was right... I was pathetic...)

Harley

Child soldiers don't get to be children, do they? Your daddy Gendo made sure of that.

Harley

Left you drowning while he played god with the world. Misato took advantage of you too. They all put you out to face this world on your own.

Shinji

I piloted the Eva because... because if I didn't... nobody would love me...

Shinji

And when I finally had friends... I killed them all anyway...

Harley

Hey now... here, blow your nose. These aren't tears of weakness, honey. These are tears of a kid who survived a war.

Shinji

(Her wrist... is that... a faded smiley face tattoo under the lab coat?)

Harley

Now, about those anxiety meds... I'm thinking something in the benzodiazepine family might—

Shinji

(That tattoo... I've seen it before. On the Joker's henchman who tried to blow up the hospital...)

Harley

Oh sugar, you've got that look again! Like a little bird who just realized the nice lady offering breadcrumbs is actually gonna snap its neck!

Harley

Tell me, Shinji-kun... do you think Doctor Harleen Quinzel ever really left Arkham?

Shinji

This feels so invasive. I saved the world, just so they can lock me away with a clown...

Harley

Relax, sweetie! I'm not gonna hurt ya! Well, not physically anyway.

Harley

Ta-da! Surprise! Your therapist's got a PHD - Pretty Huge Daddy issues!

Shinji

Please... I just wanted help...

Harley

Hey, hey... come here. Listen to me, kid.

Harley

You were fourteen. Four-freakin-teen. You think a kid can consent to saving the world? To piloting a death machine?

Shinji

(She's... warm. Like Misato but... different. Not trying to use me.)

Harley

Besides, sweetie - if anyone's gonna break the world, it's gonna be me! You're just a kid who got handed the world's worst homework assignment.

Shinji

I... I don't understand. You're supposed to be crazy.

Harley

Shh... that's our little secret. But between you and me? Sometimes it takes one broken doll to fix another.

Harley

Here's the deal, pumpkin. Arkham's cutting me loose next week. Time served, good behavior, blah blah blah.

Harley

But I need a driver. Someone who won't ask questions when the getaway car's a stolen ice cream truck.

Shinji

You're... offering me a job? But I'm not even supposed to leave this room without supervision.

Shinji

(A real job. Not piloting. Not killing. Just... driving?)

Harley

Oh sweetie, paperwork's my middle name! Well, actually it's Frances, but that's neither here nor there.

Harley

I've got pull with the review board. They think having a "stable mentor figure" will help my rehabilitation.

Shinji

But why me? There are other patients who aren't... broken.

Shinji

(She sees something in me. Not the Third Child. Just... me.)

Harley

Kid, broken people are my specialty. And you? You're not broken. You're just... bent in interesting places.

Harley

Besides, I know what it's like when the world treats you like a weapon instead of a person.

Shinji

Okay. But no more hospitals. No more white rooms. If I'm going to be crazy, I want to at least be crazy on my own terms.

Harley

Atta boy! Now you're talking my language! Rule number one: we don't use the C-word. We're not crazy, we're creatively liberated!

Harley

Catch! Every proper henchman needs a mask. Welcome to the family, Shinji-kun.

Shinji

(The fabric feels warm. Like the Eva's entry plug, but... different. This isn't saving the world. This is just... living.)

Harley

Pack your bags, kid! We're busting outta this joint! Next stop: Gotham City, where the coffee's terrible but the therapy's to die for!

Harley

And don't worry about the orange juice incident. In our line of work, apocalypses are just Tuesday!