Magical girl beef.
Create your own story with WhatIf!
Create your own story with WhatIf!
Sakura
Three magical girls walk into a bar... because they're all unemployed! Your shows ended and now you're selling autographs at conventions for gas money!
Usagi
I'll have you know I've been VERY busy protecting the world!
Lina
My dragon slave could vaporize your entire car collection, you know.
Sakura
Tell you what - I'll buy your transformation items. My Clow Cards are worth more than all your magical girl merch combined!
Madoka
(She doesn't know what she's asking for...)
Usagi
Girls... what if we just... eliminated the competition?
Lina
One dragon slave coming right up. She won't be streaming after this.
Sakura
(Wait... why are my cards glowing red?)
Madoka
Let's show this bitch who runs this shit.
Sakura
(Those losers couldn't even afford streaming equipment. My Clow Cards are worth millions now. I'm big momma now.)
Usagi
(One shot. She'll never mock magical girls again.) Ready Lina?
Sakura
(I sense broke bitter bitches near by...)
Lina
Time to say bye bitch.
Sakura
OH SHIT!!!
Sakura
(Damn they really got me.)
Lina
Raise up, we outta here.
Madoka
Get in the fucking van!
Sakura
(Three months in a coma... but my cards are gone.)
Usagi
Serves you right. That's what you get for being so disrespectful.
Lina
(She's fucking survived...)
Sakura
Just know that its on. I'm not stopping till all three of you are fucking dead!!!!
Madoka
Oh god, I earn my driver's license just for this...
Sakura
My new mixtape just dropped.
Madoka
I can't even go out after this...
Lina
My career is over..
Sakura
I don't care how you do it. Make sure those three bitches don't see tomorrow, got it?
Sakura
They took everything from me. Now I take everything from them.
Usagi
(Finally got my life together. New job, new apartment... Even Chiba is more faithful.)
Lina
(Why do I feel like I'm being watched? I got a bad feeling in my little chest.)
Madoka
I should get home. It's getting late.
Usagi
(Poison... in the pasta...)
Lina
CAR BOMB! They got me...
Madoka
Oh NOOOO!!!! (A succession of gunshots follow.)
Sakura
To the magical girls who thought they could cross me. Don't fuck with me, I'm the head bitch in charge.