Chopper vs. American Healthcare Chaos

Chopper

Your insurance denied the claim for an ankle X-ray? But you clearly have a sprain!

Chopper

This makes no medical sense!

Darkness

Oh, being denied medical treatment? How delightfully cruel...

Darkness

The suffering makes it even better!

Chopper

I'm filing an appeal. This patient needs proper treatment!

Chopper

(Appeal denied within seconds? How is that even possible?)

Darkness

Doctor, perhaps you could... examine me more thoroughly?

Darkness

Without the insurance's permission?

Chopper

(A cease and desist letter? For treating patients without insurance approval?)

Darkness

Doctor, it seems your medical license is now... compromised.

Darkness

Shall we discuss my treatment options in private?

Chopper

They only approved 40% of your treatment because your arm is 'non-essential'?

Piccolo

Namekian physiology. I'll simply regenerate.

Chopper

Let me try the prior authorization form. Maybe they'll cover the cast at least.

Chopper

(Rejected again? This isn't medicine, it's a death panel!)

Piccolo

Problem solved. Your fee will be paid in full.

Chopper

Enough. I'm going to find whoever designed this system.

Rock

Looking for the CEO of Pacifica Health? I know where he drinks.

Rock

But you'll need more than medical knowledge to take him down.

Chopper

You're the CEO denying medical claims? People are suffering!

Rock

Doctor Tony Tony Chopper. I've read your appeal letters. Adorable.

Rock

Did you know denying claims increases our stock price by 3.7%?

Chopper

You denied chemotherapy for a child with leukemia! She has days to live!

Rock

Oh, little Sarah? Her policy had a pre-existing clause. Technicalities are beautiful.

Rock

I personally called collections on her family yesterday. They cried.

Chopper

(This isn't just business. He's enjoying watching people die.)

Rock

Security? There's a trespasser in my office. Have him removed... to the psych ward.

Chopper

Even as a pirate I was never this cruel. Watch out I got you on live.

Rock

(Pacifica Health stock... plummeting. My career is over....) Yeah right, I got enough cash big deal.

Chopper

Enjoy your new life as the most hated man in America. I'll be back.

Chopper

Your reign of medical terror ends today!

Rock

Back with your little friends? How quaint.

Darkness

I've always wanted to be denied treatment in person!

Chopper

Approve every pending claim. Now.

Rock

Or what? You'll perform surgery without anesthesia?

Piccolo

He has five seconds before I demonstrate Namekian debt collection.

Rock

(Every approved claim drops my bonus by 0.001%. At this rate...)

Darkness

Deny my claim harder! Tell me my pre-existing condition makes me worthless!

Rock

Fine! Everyone gets approved! Just make her stop enjoying this!

Chopper

Your shareholders just watched you approve 10,000 claims live. Your 2% bonus? Gone. (Rock: NOOOOO!!!!)