Pirate Ninjas vs Espadas

Naruto

Dude, every time you torrent a movie, that’s food off some animator’s table!

Grimm

Those suits pay the animators pennies anyway. Why defend them?

Naruto

It’s still stealing! Studios need revenue to keep making shows we love!

Grimm

If owning a Blu-ray still means DRM can yank it away, piracy is just fair play. Just look at Ubisoft and how the locked people out of The Crew.

Naruto

(Damn it, he has a point.) Well piracy is illegal. It's a crime.

Grimm

So, just because something's legal or illegal doesn't make it right. Slavery was legal at one point, was that OK because it was legal Naruto?

Naruto

(I can’t believe I’m nodding to a pirate…) This is going to be a long night.

Naruto

But without proper sales, studios can't fund the next season! It's basic economics!

Grimm

Jujutsu Kaisen 0 made thirty million. Know what the English voice actors got? One-fifty. Total.

Naruto

(One hundred fifty dollars for a thirty million dollar movie? That's... that's criminal.)

Grimm

That's the industry you defend, hero. They pay the people who bring their stories to life less than minimum wage.

Naruto

I... I didn't know it was that bad. But piracy still hurts the animators too, right?

Grimm

The same animators who can't afford rent on their "official" wages? At least pirates don't pretend they're heroes while exploiting them.

Naruto

(He's sliding that USB drive across the table... and I actually want to see what's on it. What kind of ninja have I become?)

Grimm

Tell you what, hero. One episode. Just to see how deep this rabbit hole goes. Unless you're too loyal to your corporate overlords?

Naruto

It doesn't make this ok. Sure the industry is full of bad guys, but we can just stream from good companies.

Grimm

WHAT GOOD COMPANIES?? NETFLIX HAS SLOP, DISNEY+ HAS OVERSATURATED GARBAGE, AND HBO IS TAKING TOO LONG WITH GAME OF THRONES!!!!!

Naruto

Netflix doesn't have garbage, they got big mouth. (Oh god he's right. Big Mouth is fucking awful.)

Grimm

Going to ad free steaming sites hurts actors. Look at SAG. Their actors don't even make enough to get healthcare because the tech bros screwed them.

Naruto

I... I bought the premium subscription. I thought people were getting paid right... (That's what I get for getting that Disney+ bundle.)

Grimm

Every torrent is a vote against exploitation. Every download is justice when the system itself is criminal. I say burn it down, tear it apart.

Naruto

(My hand's moving toward the drive... and I can't stop it. What would Kakashi-sensei say about a ninja who breaks the law to uphold justice)

Grimm

Welcome to the resistance, Hokage. Let me show you the best sites.

Naruto

(Oh no no no no... the screen went blue!)

Naruto

Come on, come on, restart... why won't you restart?!

Grimm

Sounds like someone forgot to update their antivirus before downloading that "Attack on Titan" season 4.

Naruto

I had Windows Defender! I think... when did I last update it?

Grimm

Let me guess - you clicked "remind me later" on every security update since we met?

Naruto

(My entire anime collection... corrupted. My bank account... probably next.)

Grimm

Good news - I brought a clean boot drive. Bad news - it comes with a lecture on cyber hygiene.

Naruto

(This feels like another trap... but what choice do I have?)